Brad And Jennifer Spend Weekend Together!

I once had the unfortunate luck of picking up a people magazine and seeing the following headline on the cover: "Brad and Jennifer Spend Weekend Together!" My first thought was who cares? But then I realized, these two are cultural icons, the pathetic masses will care. Its probably the same gang that worships Oprah and follows Entertainment Tonight passionately. I have three words of advice for you: Get A Life.

So Brad and Jennifer spend a weekend together. Thats what people do on weekends, they spend them with people. Honestly, it isn't that big of a deal. When my parents spend a weekend, no one cares. And they shouldn't. It isn't big news. I really don't care what celebrities do. Mostly because I, unlike the Oprah-adoring masses, realize that these people are people. Give them some privacy. There life isn't yours and if your life revolves around the lives of celebrities, you are pathetic and have no life of your own to live. Why does this need to be plastered on the cover of magazines? There are people starving in Africa and all we care about are the lives of people who can't even act.

So if Brad and Jennifer spend a weekend together, or buy a yacht, or go to Paris, or get a divorce, or adopt a panda, I don't care. Perhaps when these celebrities do something great, like cure cancer, or horrible, like murder old women, I'll want the story. But if it isn't earth shattering (and Tom Cruises' love life isn't earth-shattering) then don't tell me about it.

And for godsake, leave them alone!

Speaking of old women, I have a quiz some of you drivers out there need to take.

• Do you ever drive under the speed limit?
  
• Do you read the paper while driving?
  
• Do you do your make up while driving?
  
• Do you straddle the yellow line?
  
• Is your liscence suspended?
  
• Are you blind?
  
• Are you limbless or quadrapeligic?
  
• Are you a bible-thumping baptist who wants to ban Harry Potter or Evolution?
  
• Is there a baby in your lap when you drive?
  
• Are you the baby in the lap when driving?
  
• Are you underage?
  
• Do you drive hunched over, afraid of the on-coming traffic?
  
• Do you drive on the wrong side of the road? (This includes Great Britain)
  
• Do you eat McDonalds French Fries, surf the web and feed your baby, while looking for that Cold Play CD while driving?
  
• Are you in front of me?
  

If you answered yes to any of these questions, get off the road! If the speed limit says "55 mph" that means that the fastest you can go is 55 mph. But there are people on the road who have places to be and schedules to keep so there is also an unwritten law that states that you may not go lower than the speed limit. People who drive slow are inconsiderate of other people, not to mention annoying. If you can no longer drive the speed limit, then its time for you to quit driving.

I don't like to be on the road. When someone gets in front of me and goes lower then the speed limit, it irritates me because all I want to do is get to my destination and get out of the car.

And I have seen too many idiots on the road. I've seen cars that drive at night with no lights on. I've seen truck drivers reading the paper. I've seen people apply lipstick and feed their babies. I've seen way too many cellphones. These idiots are worse than the slow, these idiots are going to kill someone.

One more thing. This is unrelated to the idiot drivers or the pathetic celebrity worshippers. I found an article in The Onion that I found funny:

Operation Screw This

I've seen Billy get hit by a car, and it was wonderful. - The Onion

J Kuhl Signing Off

My Past Life

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Lazy Cannibal. Where You Lived: Australia. How You Died: Natural causes.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

J Kuhl Signing Off

We Wish You A Merry Christmas

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. -Amendment I.

There is one commercial on TV that really angers me. The music in the background is "We wish you a happy holidays." It pisses me off because its symbolic of all this political correctness crap thats destroying the spirit of Christmas. In schools students are no longer allowed to say "Merry Christmas." They are even changing lyrics of traditional Christmas music so people aren't "offended"

Listen to this:

Higher Power Rest Ye Merry People, Let nothing you dismay . . .

It doesn't work. This political correctness, set up by every stupid Scrooge who has some pull on Congress or school boards is destroying the true spirit of christmas.

There is an argument in Lewiston Maine about whether the tree is a Christmas tree or a holiday tree. Why can't it be both? Why do the athiests have to push their beliefs on us when we don't push ours on them? We don't force them to call it a Christmas tree in the first place! Bunch of idiotic Scrooges.

If a student or a teacher says "Merry Christmas" in class he isn't breaking the law. He isn't offending the Muslims or the Jews. He's wishing one a good life and good fortune, no matter what you believe. Christmas does not have to be a religious holiday. I use to be good friends with a few athiests who celebrated Christmas as a time to be with family. There is nothing wrong with that. Jesus or no Jesus, that is what Christmas is about.

The Constitution states: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof By allowing Christmas in schools and public places, the government does not break this law. They do not establish a religion by allowing students to say "Merry Christmas" or by putting a tree up in the park. In fact, by not allowing Christmas, they are prohibiting the free exercise thereof. This PC is unconstitutional and evil. The Constitution also states: Congress shall make no law . . . abridging the freedom of speech By prohibiting Christmas, the Scrooges are again breaking the law by abridging the freedom of speech. I can get in trouble by saying "Merry Christmas" and that is wrong, evil, unjust and unconstitutional.

Very few non-Christians are upset by Christmas. They either celebrate it in their own way or see it as a day off from work. Only these Scrooges playing this power game hate Christmas.

And if someone is offended by my celebration of Christmas, I'm offended that they are offended.

This censorship must cease.

And all this politically correctness can go directly to Hell.

J Kuhl Signing Off

Daniel Webster's Lonely Hearts Club Band

The turkey was great, football was boring but the highlight of the week was on Saturday. A large white package from Daniel Webster College arrived. Trembling in fear, I opened it.

I have good news.

I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico!

Kidding!

Anyways, I tore it open and opened up a folder to reveal several letters, the first one saying "Congragulations on your acceptance to Daniel Webster!" Needless to say, I was elated for hours.

Embry-Riddle and Bridgewater State have also accepted me but Daniel Webster is my top pick for a multitude of reasons. Proximity to home, skiing, airport on location, private pilot liscence by October, small campus, it won out in the end. It's got AFROTC so I can get my first step into a larger world called the F/A-22.

In other words, my parents and my sister went off to get a christmas tree while I sat at home and wrote a paper for English. Dad did his usual arm thing. We can't take him anywhere in public!

Tis the season to be jolly I suppose. The tree's still waiting in the garage to be all light up and tinseled. Christmas trees are fun. Christmas is even more fun. That being said, Happy Hannukah!

I feel like such a dirtbag! -Alex

J Kuhl Signing Off

The Senior Class of 2006

Halloween. 2001. Sun was shining and all was normal. Normal. As normal was defined four years ago. Anyways, it was on that day when Mr. Gleason walked into Mr. Fournier's room and presented St. Dom's to my class. On that very Halloween. He talked about how great the school supposedly was, how it was brand new and had all this great stuff. I won a vinyl jacket that day cause I answered some random question correctly. I marked 'very interested' on a little sheet of paper and took an application. Then I thought to myself 'Thanks, but no thanks' and carried on with life.

But St. Athanasius St. John School was full of cretins, as any other school would be. I was their specified target. It became clear before the end of the year, I had to get the hell out of that situation before something bad happened. Ultimately, I changed my mind. I sent in the application.

And from that point onward, well, I'll just say its a long, long, long story.

The end result however, came out amazingly well. Certainly, my class has jerks, but nobody this time is against me. They have all accepted me as who I am and I am grateful of that. To the Class of 2006 - Thank You!

In other news, I've been accepted into Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University, my #2 school! That knocks Bridgewater State and Florida Tech off the list. Now it is down to Daniel Webster, which is my #1. Once they respond, I'll know where I'm going next year.

"Good Morning! Its a beautiful rainy day! Time to get up!" -Mr. Servidio at 6:30 this morning.

J Kuhl Signing Off

God, the Ultimate Programmer

A few months ago, I posted something about how I wasn't sure whether I should become athiest or not. Now I realized that that is a path I cannot tread. I was looking for proof and I found it in a very shocking place. In science.

I know, scientists and priests have been battling it out since before Galileo and Copernicus. Both camps are blind. Science doesn't deny God, it proves God. It proves that there has to be a higher power out there who watches us. Spirituality is in the action of finding this higher power and discovering what it has to do with us. Science leads to understanding how the universe works, a universe so obviously created by God. Science can lead to deeper faith.

Think about it. Einstien discovered the famous equation, Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared, E=MC2. It was a breakthrough in science because he uncovered one very important aspect of physics: matter and energy can transform into one another. Energy can form mass, mass can form energy. We see the latter in our atomic bombs, the uranium is turned into pure energy. The former has only happened once. At the beginning of the Big Bang. Where would the energy come from? God. God is all that was out there at that time, God was the energy. He set off an explosion so catacalysmic that energy became mass. Quarks formed, followed by atoms, molecules, then planets and stars. And through all that, God watched and nudged a few things to ensure that our planet was created with the correct distance from the right star.

This planet was built with a complex ecosystem to support complex life. God could have made us simple, but he didn't. In order that we may know of his existance, God purposely made it much too complicated for mere chance to allow. He made it so incredibly complex that one can see how that he does indeed exist. He used science to create us to prove his existance to us indirectly.

There is more evidence than the Big Bang. What is thought? A neurologist may say that thought occurs when brain cells send chemicals to each other. Chemicals. How can inanimate chemicals create thoughts? How can our emotions, abstractions, distractions, and so on all be mere chemicals? No, the mind, I believe is a direct product of God or some higher being and the brain and its chemicals are the vehicle in which the mind operates. The brain is still an amazingly complex organ. It has more power in it than any computer mankind has ever made. We just don't know how to use it. We only use about 10%. You can see how somewhere in our evolution, God stepped in and made sure us humans got the best brains for our minds to use.

Our basic structure of life is complicated. Its a ten to twenty step process just for a simple cell to derive energy from sugar. Our bodies are created by incredibly thin strands of my favorite two words, dioxyribonuclaic acid. 4 letters. AGTC. My nose was created by AGTC. My blue eyes: AGTC. Adenosine, Guomine, Thamin, and Cynamine (or something like that . . . I know it was AGTC anyways) and Uracil for RNA. This long combination of simple chemical letters is meaningless. God gave it meaning. God allowed it to replicate itself and control the reproduction and welfare of simple cells. Yet these genes only unlock what we look like, not who we are. Our soul is totally seperate from the physical body. God formed our souls, at least its structure. Our lives fill it in.

Through science, God made us. Why? To be perfectly serious, it was pretty damn lonely in outerspace.

God thought we'd liven it up a bit.

In other news, creationism is bunk. Surprised I just said that aren't you? Yes God created our universe, no God did not say "Let there be Light!" Like I said, God create the world through science. Genesis was simply a hebrew understanding about how the universe was created. Today, Genesis's meaning is not how God created the world, but that it was God who did. Creationism states that the universe was created in the Genesis fashion, 4000 years ago.

Our modern science has proved that the world is billions of years old, so there goes that theory. Science has uncovered creation to the point of singularity: the Big Bang. God caused that Big Bang and set the wheels in motion for our lives. What I was talking about isn't creationism, it is science. You can find it in any science textbook out there. I just added God where he wa required.

However, creationism should not be taught in a science class room. Science class teaches the accepted scientific models. The Big Bang theory is widely accepted, creationism is not. The purpose of a science class is to teach how we currently understand how the universe works. Creationism, the story of Genesis, is not a scientific model. Creationism should be taught in a nonmandatory classroom across the hall.

In fact, prayer should be placed back in school. Just don't make it mandatory. Our Constitution says that religion cannot be mandatory. OK, so just don't make religion mandatory in school. But there is room fore it.

"Away put your weapon, I mean you no harm!" -Yoda

J Kuhl Signing Off

Aye Carumba

It amazes me how so much nothing can happen in just two months. That's why I haven't updated this site for awhile, I've had nothing to say. I mean, do you people really care about my Pre-Cal grades or how well I'm doing in my AP English class? Probably not. Do you care about the boatload of nothing that has occured in the last month? No, because neither do I. Don't get me wrong, I like nothing, nothing is comforting. But something would be fun and exciting maybe. After all, this is my senior year. This is suppose to be the greatest year of them all! I gotta go out with a bang!

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a whimper, but with a bang - TS Eliot (sort of . . .)

Well, maybe I may have something to say. First of all, I hope Harriet Miers is rejected by congress. She is Bush's pawn, its so disgustingly obvious. That old woman's just gonna play into Bush's hands, giving the moron more control of our government. I don't like her at all. She once called Mr. Bush the most brilliant man she ever met.

Brilliantly stupid maybe. If she thinks that Bush is brilliant, she's gotta be as stupid as he is. I believe this is all "You pat my back, I pat your back" bull crap. I don't care if she is pro-life at all, I'd rather see an abortionist sitting at the bench then one of Bush's cronies.

So please congress, reject her. And impeach Mr. Bush while your at it too.


In other news, the yearbook came out, so I have some good pictures of Into the Woods. I also have a little flash for you to watch as well. Its a stupid little parody that almost follows the script (besides the part with the dwarf, the M-16, and the . . . well, watch it!) Anyways, That first one is the cast trying to feed Mike (the Narrator) to the Giant. The second is the Steward in all his amazing glory. Basically three things happened last year, the Odd Couple, the Prom, and Into the Woods. (Although there is controversey as to whether the Prom ever happened. . . you know the story . . .ah well, there is always this year . . .) Other than these three things, not much happened.

This year should get better soon. I'm ready to call it quits. I'll hang in for the required 200+ more days though.

At the end of the year I am going on Mission Mississippi, so if you want to send me any bottles, e-mail me and I'll gladly find a way to take them from you. Or you can simply give me some money. More information can be found here.

The greater the good, the harder the blow! The Steward

J Kuhl Signing Off

Legos, Popsicle Sticks and Aerodynamics

For my physics class today, I tried to create a model airplane out of paper, popsicle sticks and legos. The popsicles and legos made a frame that looked like an I when it was completed. It was held together by scotch tape. The paper had one side taped to the other. And when I threw it, the most amazing thing happened.

It dropped like a rock.

Oh well, time for me to come up with another design. I need to find a cheap way to design an airfoil so I can do my experiment with the camber. My hypothesis for this project is bigger camber means bigger lift. Obviously, its been done, but its still my project. This design failed, but I now know some of its problems. It was heavy in the front. It wasn't stable and it wasn't sturdy. The camber may have been too big.

Here are some pictures of what not to build:









I have more ideas in mind to try out. I don't have the tools to make a proper airfoil out of wood so I have to try to work with paper and other light-weight material.

In other news, Katrina's blew New Orleans to crap. That sucks. I wish I could do more for those people living down there. Wow, several nasty hurricanes and a tsunami in the last two/three years. Thats gotta be a sign of something bad.

As you are probably well aware, school has started for me. This is the sign in the front:



You can check out any time but you can never leave!

Send the fleet to the far side of the moon. There they will stay untill called for...

J Kuhl Signing Off

Why I Write

Through all my life, the English language has been a major influence on my life. It was more than basic communication; it opened new worlds and allowed me to explore them. I have always been a voracious reader and I have always enjoyed writing as well. Reading has always given me methodology and inspirations, writing has always given me the chance to play with the English words. It gave me the power to create new worlds and new life. It gave me a chance to invent and think. Writing taps into a flow of creativity and allows some of it out. Like crude oil, my writing needs to be refined sometimes, but the creative flow never ceases. It is the process that I enjoy, the creative thinking that occurs when I write.

I would guess that my literary life began when I was five and living in North Dakota. My favorite toy to play with were the Lego sets from KB Toys. With all the little pieces, I could build a new world and have my little mini-figures go on exotic adventures, which always ended up with the smiling good guy winning, and the ugly bad guy losing. Lego built up my imagination and started my literacy path.

During that time, I read a lot of books. Dr. Seuss for one amazed me. I loved the rhyme, the weird words, “Schlopp! Schlopp! Beautiful Schlopp! Beautiful Schlopp with a cherry on top!” the strange illustrations, such as a “guff going by,” and the general artistry of the books. I also read Berenstain bears and other books like that, but Seuss was my particular favorite. Seuss turned into the Belgariad, a fantasy series by David Eddings, and Eddings became Clive Cussler’s Dirk Pitt novels and then Tom Clancy, whom I like to read now. I have read many other books as well, but these four have influenced me the most. Recently, I acquired a whole series of ten books full of Robert Louis Stevenson, dating back to 1908, which I intend to read soon. I also have five years worth of National Geographic which I enjoy reading and learning about the natural world around me. I enjoy reading stories that have good plots and surprising twists and magazines that have interesting articles about things I have never heard of. Books allow me to escape and either watch the adventures of some character or learn about some new thing that science has found.

These writings have inspired me to write stories several times, none of which I have had the focus to finish. One, a fantasy story called Soldier of Light, was my first serious attempt at writing something good. It is currently 28 pages long and not even near completions. I don’t know where to go with it if I ever go back to it, but I did enjoy writing what I did. Another serious attempt was a modern war story but I learned something important about writing, which was to write what I know about. I knew nothing about war, even though the story was in my head. I found I couldn’t describe it very well. Combat occurs too fast for me to write about and I know too little about army life to document a war, even a fictional war. But my inability to focus, which I can work on, hasn’t stopped me yet. Soldier of Light I may some day return to, and I have another story in process. Stories are like playing with Legos, I get to build the characters and their world and have grand adventures. The figure with the smiley face wins at the end, of course.

Writing an essay, is more iffy then writing a story. Sometimes I can do it well, sometimes not. I am a good essayist when I know what I am talking about and I can get a good flow going with the words and the ideas. I keep a blog. Several of the entries in it are essays about current events, although they wouldn’t score high on the AP English Exam. However, these essays though are an exercise in creative writing and they allow me to get my thoughts down on paper. When I write an essay, I know what I am doing in my head. I have a thesis, a body and a conclusion laid out before me in my mind and then I just watch where the writing takes me. It can be risky but it usually gives me a good result. I also tend to make my writing fancy, I search for a linguistic flow as well as a good conveyance of meaning.

My literary life has been one of Legos, reading, and writing. It has been a creative process that I have always enjoyed. From reading about Jack Ryan hunting for a Soviet Submarine, to writing about people, whom have had their memories erased, marooned on an island, the English Language has always been there for me when I called it. Writing was an art and whether I was reading it or writing it, I have always enjoyed being a part of it.

In other news, I had to write that for my AP English Class.

My sister Katie is moving to California to start a life as an Extra in Los Angeles. I am a little jealous. California is more fun than Maine. There is more to do. I like Maine, but California is exciting. My other sister Emily moved to a new appartement in Cambridge Massachuesetts. It must be a sign. Time for me to get cracking so I can move on as well. Ah, well, one thing at a time, 270 more days.

I found an cool video about Boba Fett. Nice.

When the going gets tough, the tough call J Kuhl.

J Kuhl Signing Off

Captain B.J. Hunnicut

J Kuhl Signing Off

Good Move Israel. United States Should Follow

Israel and Palestine have been fighting for what seems like forever and they never quit. They are like two little children, each to selfish to share. It seems to me like Allah never taught his servents to share, and neither did Yahweh. Perhaps I don't understand this correctly, but why can't these two just live together in peace. Come on folks, lets learn to compromise.

Israel's pullout from the Gaza strip, as much as it cause heartache to some Israelis was a good move, I think. It showed that Israel is willing to sacrifice for peace. It showed that Israel wants peace and not war. The question remains whether the Israeli people will remain peaceful after this event. If they think about it, I think they might choose peace, at least for a little while. Also, we have to worry that the Palistinians will want more land. Some ignorant guy, Palistinian or Israeli will rally up a group of idiots and start the fighting all over again. But this move shows that Sharon wants peace and he is willing to compromise, which is the true road map to peace.

And since the fighting in the Middle East will never end, the best idea for America is to pull out entirely. Get out of all the Middle Eastern nations, politically and physically, and leave them alone. Continue trading with them, but that would be it. If we leave them alone, they'll leave us alone. We should only go in if we are attacked by them. 9-11 was not an attack on Iraq's part. If it was, I'd be all for this war. Our troops should stay at home. America should only attack when attacked. America should only defend itself or people who specifically ask for American help. America should not be involved in other nations, except economically.

Of course, the United States of America needs to limit their economic policies as well. Too many goods are made in Japan and China. The U.S. needs to stop buying as much from the asian nations and do some manufacturing in our own land. It'll give us jobs that we need. We should also look into alternitive energy sources besides oil for our cars and become less dependent on foreign oil. Maybe I should run for president.

In other news, the first Drama meeting of the year was today. Officers were voted in. Mike was elected Vice President and Joe was elected president. Mr. T gave us a choice, either we do the typical straight play/variety show/musical year that we always do or we do a student directed piece. I knew that the student directer would be Adam, and therefore it would be a nightmare so I voted against it. Luckly, the motion failed. We are doing the same old thing. Drama this year will rock. The freshmen all seemed to follow Mike's orders, so he says they'll fit in.

Change is evil.

J Kuhl Signing Off

Santa Claus the Spooky CIA Spoof

Christmas is comming. There are still four months to go, but it is an undeniable fact, Christmas time is coming. Santa Claus has already been a favorite character of mine in the Christmas traditions. Some call him Father Time, some call him Père Noël and some like to call him Jolly Old St. Nicolas. I like 'em all.

Here in Rumford Maine, the temperature has seemed to drop to the 60's already with brisk October weather. I've quit wearing shorts. Santa Claus, and I honestly believe this, paints the leaves different colors in the autumn. They are already changing here.

Santa comes down every year to paint the leaves. He is a CIA spook, as Calvin once pointed out. By painting leaves, he spies on the kids to find out those who are naughty or nice and points out potential homeland security threats to the government. Then he hands out the goods on Christmas morning. I like Santa 'cause I like presents. And go Jesus! If it weren't for him, there'd be no Christmas.

Alright, I'm not crazy, I made that up. But Santa Claus is a great scam to play on little kids. Telling them he's fake is so much fun, unless they cry. Then it's just wrong.

In other news, men have anger issues, I've heard. This summer I went to an ACE camp at Daniel Webster to learn about flying airplanes and such. One of the teachers who taught academics, one Mr. Price, was talking to us about using e-6b computers. He asked us, to see if we understood how it worked to use the e-6b, to find out how many people he'd kill in Halo in six hours at 35 people an hour.

At Halo, Mr. Price changed subjects suddenly, stating that men had real anger issues and therefore they play violent games like Halo. He stated, "Men are jealous of women because men can't give birth. Men have to take out their frustration by building things like bridges or blowing stuff up."

Apparently, I am mad at life because I can't give birth. Interesting. It may even be true. I've always wanted to be in labor for twelve hours.

God I wish I had a uterus.

J Kuhl Signing Off

Wide Eyed Japanese Shadow Warriors

If there is any fad out there I severely hate it's anime. Ever since that damn pokemon craze back when I was a fifth grader, I have seen that anime and manga crap everywhere I go. From what little I have seen of anime, the plots suck and the animation is just dumb. The characters all look stupid, with eyes the size of dinner plates and hair all in a crazy afro. They all dress like queers too. The idea of pokemon is simple and stupid. Catch a bunch of monsters. The character even has a stupid name. Ash Ketch'um. Ketch'um. O.K. I've got a better one! Ass Ketchup! I thought this fad would die. Pokemon died. Not anime. It lives. The characters, all trying to use their stupid super powers to fight evil pop up everywhere. Manga and anime, like some evil plague, infests books, internet, and TV. It's worthless garbage, in my opinion. Let the Japanese keep their cartoons. I want Bugs Bunny back.

Please do me a favor. Lets all get together and work hard to destroy anime. I have a book burning schedualed at 12:30 tommorrow. Bring anything related to manga or anime and I will happily burn it.

Gotta Ketch'um All!

J Kuhl Signing Off

Fried Shrimp

My Mission Mississippi group worked at a stand yesturday at the Great Falls Balloon Festival. It was a dreary, overcast day, perfect for an outdoor festival and flying balloons. I was at a booth with Ms. Little and a few other kids in my class, serving clam strips, clam cakes and shrimp, all fried. I hate shellfish. But it is all for the Cause, I suppose, we made about $1200 at the festival so far. It got very hectic quickly. The clam strips went like crazy. Serving wasn't very fun though. It smelled like the ocean and every time I sat down, someone else came by wanting more clam strips. I was surprised that we didn't go out of business. Not because of the crowd, but because of Nick. Every twenty minutes, Nick would ask me for a sample of every thing. He ate a lot. I worked for a good six hours, dehydrating my hands in latex gloves, throwing fried shellfish around. It eventually got to the point where I couldn't stand the smell of the shrimp any more.

Outside the booth, crowds were moseying about under umbrella's looking for fried food and crafts that the other booths were selling. Some bands came and performed, but they all sucked. The night ended with Elvis music and Kyle and I scrubbing grease out of pans and scraping potato skins out with a house key.

It's for the Cause though. All for the Cause. I'm gonna go out and collect some bottles tomorrow after the Gulag school.

In other news, Uncle Greg actually got jiggy with it this summer. My sister asked him to dance at a street festival on the 4th of July and he actually did it. Go Uncle Greg!

Just a random memory, but I remember a funny thing that happened a few years ago I want to write down. It was in World History, in my Sophomore year and Mrs. Angell, the teacher, was talking about World War II, and more specifically, post Normandy invasion France. She was discussing how Erwin Rommel was the German head-honcho leading the Nazi army in France and one student called him Rommel McDonald. Mrs. Angell continued to talk about the troop movements and such and she brought up the point that he always wanted to get a bigger army. Jamie Donohue spoke up and said "Are you saying he wanted to supersize his army?"

Everybody cracked up. Joe went crazy. Jamie responded, "I think I broke Joe." Everyone laughed harder.

Something under the bed is drooling.

J Kuhl Signing Off

The Half Blood Prince is the Devil!

Ever since it came out way back when, I have always been a big fan of the Harry Potter series. There was something in J.K. Rowling's writing that made the books addictive and fun to read. I could read each of them in one day, even the 800 pagers, and I would be reluctant to stop. It was a let down for me to get to the end of The Half-Blood because the book was over and I wanted more. Not to mention that at the end (highlight to reveal spoiler). Dumbledore is killed by Snape. I always thought Snape'd turn out to be all right. It was a good book and I look forward to next July when, I assume, the last one comes out. Not to mention my 19th birthday too.

And yet Harry Potter gets all this flak from fundamentalists, especially Baptists, it always seems to be Baptists, who claim Harry Potter is the devil! This is the stupidest thing I have heard in my life. And I've heard lots of stupid things before. There argument is that Harry Potter practises magic, which God has forbidden. Why would God forbid something that isn't real? These people take the book too seriously. First of all, I doubt that any of these people have actually read the book. They simply assume that he is a devil-worshipping satanist because he practises magic. If they'd read the book and stop assuming this crap, they'd learn that Harry is a christian hero. A christian hero does not want glory and power. A christian hero takes the necessary risks and only the necessary risks. A christian hero puts himself last. Harry does all this consistantly; how can he be the devil? Although God is never mentioned, the characters celebrate Christmas and Easter. Harry Potter has no satanic practises in it, unless fighting against evil and fighting for your friends has become a satanic rite.

What about Lord of the Rings? Gandalf is a human wizard, an Istari in the form of a human. He used magic to fight of the Nazgul outside of Minas Tirith. He used magic to fight Saruman at Orthanc. He used magic to fight the Balrog in Minas Tirith. Is Gandalf evil? Is Lord of the Rings the devil? You cannot say that Lord of the Rings is not evil and say that Harry Potter is.

Star Wars Jedi use this mysterious Force. The Force is simply another form of magic. Is Qui-Gon evil? Luke? Yoda? Obi-Wan?

No. None of these characters are evil. Same goes to Harry Potter. The books are not evil.

And if you haven't read the books, shut the hell up.

In other news, I'm beganing to develope a bad case of senioritis. The ickle firsties are a great group to make fun of. Its amazing that they can get lost in a hallway that goes straight! The confusion in their faces is hilarious

"I can't find my way to Buway's woom! I'm wost!"

Freshmen. Ah. I feel superior this year. It's almost as if I am better than them. I like the feeling, it's energizing to be superior to Ickle Firsties, Sophies, amd Juniors. Go Class of 2006! wOOT.

Yeah, I was a freshman once, but I survived, therefore I get the right to make fun of them. Muah ha ha ha!

279 more days to Graduation.

J Kuhl Signing Off

TGIF is Really A Screwed Up Phrase

Today, for perhaps the first time ever, I am not glad that it is Friday because for some demented reason, Welsh decide to start school on a Friday, as in today. So I was thinking the whole day through, here we go again.

First of all, there were crowds of ickle firsties here and there, all nervous and jumpy. Typical freshmen, acting all scared about the up-comming years. Well, I wanted to say to them

"Welcome to St. Dominic Regional High School, Your Happy Home for the next four years,"

but I think they'd've cried or something, so I didn't. But hey, my class is now the royalty of the school, the top crop. It was still not very exciting. But here we go again anyways.

First of all, we started with the typical Welsh-speech, long and drawn out speech about how important education is and how great St. Dom's is. I slept like a baby. Of course I did! I had to wake up at 5:30 this morning! Then first period and then break.

At break, there was my typical donuts. Mike's first words to me was "Go crawl in a hole and die!" He was joking, I hope. Almost all my friends are in my computer programming class as well, which is good. Even better, Pipes is no longer among the living. Well, he isn't at that school anyways.

Sr. Nancy left the convent for a man and ran off and got married, so she is gone. Mr.Dixon, also known as Think and Grin, cause he was always grinning and looking around, left. Mr. Tine also left I'm guessing because he wasn't very popular. But the brown pants joke he told in last years english class was pretty funny.

So my classes and my first impressions are as follows:

Period 1 Pre Cal with Mrs. Girourd. It looks like it will be a tough course, as hard or worse than Algebra II and Trigonometry. I think that one will be my worst.

Period 2 Religion with Ms. Pontbriand. This one has alot of the ADHD kids so it may go out of control, which is good, chaos is funny.

Period 3 French 4 with Mr. Thibideaux. There are 8 student. Alot of french speaking as well. I think it will be hard but not too much.

Period 4 Programming with Mrs. Robitaille. Alot of my friends are in this one and we took several computers in the corner. This will be fun. Writing programs and joking with friends. Woohoo!

Period 5 Physics with Mr. Knight. Big class, almost everyone. Very important class to me because I want to fly. I think it will be interesting, but a lot of math.

Period 6 AP US History English with Ms. Ducey. I like to write, so this class, I hope, will be a good one. She handed out the Ducey Code today, a yellow peice of paper with letters and numbers that she puts on papers to show what errors were made. I hate that Code, it just shows everything that can go wrong. My Crime and Punishment essay was covered in those. She already gave out homework! It'll be quite a bit like AP US History was, only without the history.

Period 7 AP Study Hall with Mr. Knight and Mrs. St Laurent. Study Hall. Great fun and lots of sleep. My first semester will be with Knight and the second will be with St. Laurent.

School is war. He who survives with the most braincells left at the end wins. School is what keeps the human race evolving. Only the smart survive. Now that I know what I want to do with my life, this year has loads of tension on it. Flying a fighter jet is one of the hardest jobs in the world to get into and flying for the Thunderbirds would be even harder. Yet this is what I would want to do. Now the pressure is on. I'll be squeezed through the next five years like a tube of toothpaste. But trust me, I'll remember to party in the meanwhile.

In other news,I have to work at the Balloon Festival tommorrow for Mission Mississippi. Benny, Kyle, Chuck, PJ, Joe, and about twenty others and I are going to Mississippi this April for ten days to help the poor. It was something I decided to do simply because I could. It'd be an experiance I wouldn't forget. And besides, I get to do something for society, its a good feeling.

Anyways, I have to collect $400 in bottles, which is 8,000 bottles before I go. I have about $30, so I should go out again today or this weekend. There is also a $250 dollar fee that I have to raise otherwise as well.

The Balloon Festival is tommorrow. I have to work around disgusting seafood. I live in Maine but I hate all shellfish, except lobster claws. For some strange reason, the kids can't cook, so I don't know exactly what I will be doing.

This trip to Mississippi will be an interesting trip. We hope to be the first to catch an armidillo. No other Mission Mississippi group has.

Joe, get with program or I will shoot you. -Ms. Ducey

J Kuhl Signing Off

Music is the Spice of Life

Every morning as I rush off to school (That word sends a shiver down my spine seeing as how it starts tommorrow) I have my CD player running and my headphones jamming to some muzak. I have found that I have a very broad range, although it is all in the rock genre. I like almost all rock between the Beatles and Godsmack. I hate rap and country though. Rap, while it has a good base sometimes, seems to me to just be some guy talking in rhymes. Anyone can rap:

Yo fo jizzle!
I sat on ma shizzle!
Me an' my goil
playin in the soil
don't be a foo yo!

Country to me is always some crying cowboy. Who wants to see that? Cowboys are suppose to be strong, they are suppose to be men, not little girls.

Oh, my dog ran away
My girl left me today
I got a tear down my cheek
As I fish from the creek
I go to the bar
Watchin' NASCAR . . .

Which leads to another question of mine. What is the connection between NASCAR, pick up trucks, backwater hicks, snowmobiles, ATV's and country music? Why do all of these go together like peas in a pod? I want to know because I truly have no idea.

Classical music and jazz are boring. There is only one type of music. Rock.

I like that old time of rock and roll!
Let the music just sooth the soul!
I remenisce about days of old!
I like that old time of rock and roll!

I like oldies and newbies. Beatles and Godsmack, Monkees and Three Doors Down. If it has a good beat and melody, I'll like it. I usually don't care about the lyrics. Being a Dave Matthew's fan, I usually don't know what the lyrics mean anyways. Pantala Naga Pampa? Whatever, I like it.

My Top Ten Albums:
Album,Favorite Song,Group

• 10. Out of the Vien, Can't Get Away, Third Eye Blind
  
• 9. Greatest Hits, Pinch Me, Barenaked Ladies
  
• 8. Faceless, Serenity, Godsmack
  
• 7. Back In Black, All Night Long, AC/DC
  
• 6. Astrolounge, Allstar, Smashmouth
  
• 5. Under The Table and Dreaming, Warehouse, Dave Matthews Band
  
• 4. Start Something, Last Train Home, Lost Prophets
  
• 3. Persuit of Leisure, Chasing You Around, Sugar Ray
  
• 2. Yellow Submarine, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Beatles
  
• 1. Stand Up, Smooth Rider, Dave Matthews Band
  

Funny how Dave Matthews Band is my all-time favorite band, yet they don't have my favorite song. Songs are different. I'd give you a top ten list, but there are way too many good songs for me to consider. My top two are Serenity by Godsmack and Can't Get Away by Third Eye Blind, but I like lots of groups, new and old, the Beatles, AC/DC, Dave Matthews, Blue's Image - Ride Captain Ride, Lost Prophets, Three Days Grace, Three Doors Down, Simon and Garfunkel - Cecilia, and so many more.

War by Edwin Starr is my current political statement.

By the way, this blog's title is a tribute to Dave Matthew's Band. The Last Stop is a song about war and it points out that peace cannot be gained through war. This isn't the only reason why this blog is called the last stop, but its a big part of it.

In other news, I failed my Arnold test in Civil Air Patrol again. Damn test keeps getting me every single time. And yet its so stupid. It should be easy. It is a leader ship test that advances me to my third rank, C/Airman 1st Class. I started as a Basic and moved up to Airman about a month ago. The test, being about leadership should have been simple. This one is about communication and flags and its all common sense, or so it seems.

When the audience laughs or yawns you are getting?

1. Answers
   
2. Feedback
   
3. Candy
   
4. Screwed
   

How hard is that? B - Feedback. Duh. All the questions are like that, so why in hell have I failed every single time? There is a curse in my particular squadron, no one, until recently, has passed that test on the first go. Usually, I'm the record breaker of that group. This time, however, I wasn't. It's gonna be like those damn O-Flights, every time I try I fail.

War! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutly Nothing! Say it again!
-Edwin Starr

J Kuhl Signing Off

The 25 Most Influential Hispanics In America

Time came out today with an article about the 25 most influential hispanics in America. My first thought was who cares? I have nothing against hispanics, its just that living in Rumford Maine, I don't know what a hispanic looks like. Maine has three ethnic groups: The whites, the blacks and the asians. Maine is 99% white, I am pretty sure, because there are only about three black guys and one chinese in Maine. Maine isn't like other states like California. California has a great ethnic diversity. When I went two years ago, there were more hispanics and asians then white folk. I think that that is great; it truly shows what America is suppose to be, a land of opportunity for all people. But Maine on the other hand, is primarily one race. I can't recall, in the ten years I've lived here, seeing a non-white person in my little town of Rumford.

There is one thing that some Americans need to think about: America is equal opportunity for all races, not just one. The Jews, the Muslims, the blacks, the reds, the yellows and the whites, the catholics and the protestants, all. America has always been described as a vast melting pot and there is no reason for anyone to be left out simply because of skin or religion. Racism is ignorant and evil. It is a horrible stain on America's history and even America's present. It upsets me to find confederate flags flying on the side of the road, which to me is a symbol of slavery and racism. Hitler was a racist. Do you want to be like him?

In other news, I caught a snake today. In the ten years I have lived here in Maine, I never saw a snake in my own driveway before. I did not want it to be run over by a car, so I grabbed some gloves and tried to catch it without hurting it. The damn thing kept slithering away in panic. After about five minutes, it was firmly grasped in my hands and I moved it to the woods. It was an neat little snake, brown and harmless. I tried to find it again and post its picture on this site, but it is gone. Probably back on my drive way. Oh well.

I knew a kid who was so stupid he mistook gluestick for chapstick. I thought it was a good idea myself, I didn't have to listen to him for weeks.

J Kuhl Signing Off

Beyond the Firmenent of the Sky

Every year of my life for the last twelve years has been dominated by a catholic school, be it St. Dom's High or St. Athenasius St. Johns k-8, and therefore I have been sufficiently doused with the catholic religion and its teachings. But when you truly think about it, religion has a lot of holes in it. I can't even be sure if I should continue to be a catholic or drop the whole thing altogether. Currently, I consider myself borderline athiest or radically indecisive.

Take this passage for example: Mathew 15:21-28 from the New American Bible

Then Jesus went from that place and withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a Canaanite woman of that district came and called out, "Have pity on my, Lord, Son of David! My daughter is tormented by a demon." But he did not say a word to her. His disciples came and asked him, "Send her away, for she keeps calling out after us." He said in reply, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel." But the woman came and did him homage, sayoing, "Lord, help me." He said in reply, "It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs." She said, "Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters." Then Jesus said to her in reply, "O woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you with." And her daughter was healed from that hour.

Every where I go I see stickers and banners that say WWJD? (What Would Jesus Do?) and with this passage in mind I really wonder if that is a good saying for our kids. Jesus has just ignored, then rejected and insulted someone who asked for his help. Sounds like a fine example for my kids. Jesus says many times to not judge others and yet here he is, judging this woman because she's a Canaanite, calling her a dog. He gives all these promises that God will answer our prayers and help us when we need it, yet he rejects this poor woman.

This is one reason why religion is such a problem with me. Jesus and God often contradict the character traits that priests and religion teachers shove on to us. No one can really prove whether Jesus ever historically existed either. The New Testiment is all based on heresy. None of the evangelists, Matt, Mark, Luke and John, knew Jesus. Matt, I have been told by a nun, was not the same tax collecter in the Gospels. And if Jesus did exist, the miracles don't mean anything; miracle workers were all over the place during the times of Jesus. There are no known records of Jesus been crucified by the Romans either. Jesus remains an enigma, supressing my faith in religion.

And yet, I can't bring myself to become a full-blown athiest either. The science of this world is amazing. The complexity of life, DNA, cellular respiration, cellular protiens and so on, is so complex that these chemicals could not have simply mixed together by chance. For example, there is one amino acid that cannot exist out of the cytoplasm of the cell and yet the cell cannot exist without that particular amino. Human beings can reason things out, can love, laugh, joke and experiance life like no other lifeform we know of and yet the mind is suppose to be simply one big chemical reaction? I don't think so, I believe there is more to it then that. God? Maybe. I haven't been able to decide.

In other news, I recently perused through a number of blogs, simply to see what was out there. First of all, let me say, people are interesting. Mr. Pingle, I'm sorry I made fun of you, but your name is funny. Once you pop, you can't . . . anyways everyone in America seems to have something to say about their life and opinions, which is all well and good, but to my horror, I run into some rather shady blogs. First of all, there was one talking about getting work skills and the most recent post was about how to get a blowjob! Then I run into the various porn blogs out there. Come on folks! I thought this was a kid-friendly site! Personally, I think that there needs to be more control on this stuff. I'm all for the .xxx domains. And any site that is pornographic should not be free to get into. This way we can keep the little ones out. And by little ones, I mean Freshmen.

What Would Jesus Do For a Klondike Bar?

J Kuhl Signing Off

I'm Gonna Be an Orthodontist!

I remember a long time ago when I once said to myself, I want to be a cowboy, or a train engineer or a police officer which comes to my current question, who grows up and says to there parents "I wanna be a gigolo mom!"? Where do these nasty occupations come from? "My greatest ambition is to clean sewers." I guess someone has got to do it. But it still makes me think. And what about an orthodontist? Who would want to be every kids worst nightmare? Braces were hell.

I know that my train of dream occupations has rocketed through, starting off as a cowboy, firefighter and a police officer all at the same time. Then I decided to focus on engineering when I was five. Yup, my mom was so proud, until she found out I meant train engineer. Followed by a scientist and then a computer goon. I spent about two years learning a little C++, HTML, C-Script (for 3d GameStudio) but I could never really focus on it for too long. I have an interesting site started at this link about games I've started, but whether or not I'll ever have the motivation to continue, I don't really know. Acting has always been an interesting thought, but I'm not that great and its too difficult a business to get into. Flying, however, is pie.

But nowhere have I wanted to be a gigolo, sewer cleaner or an orthodontist. But I got to say, cheers to you people who take up the jobs most would reject. Especially you, the gigolos.

In other news, I don't know how I forgot to mention this on this site, but as of last June, I got a new nephew. Aiden Parker William Wagner, son of Jennifer (Kuhl) Wagner and Tad Wagner and brother of 4-year-old Zakory Arthur Charles Wagner. Unfortunately, they all live in sunny California, some 6000 miles away from here, so I haven't seen any of them for a year. My mother just left this morning out of Manchester NH for California and I'm stuck here, dreading Friday, the day I head back to the gulag, of which I mean school.

Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories - those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. -Russell Baker (Who ever the hell that is)

J Kuhl Signing Off

Wild Blue Yonder

I finally got my O-Flight for CAP last June and I got three more flights. That's a total of 4 flights in a Cessna Skyhawk, each one piloted by me (more or less). I got to do several take offs and I got to fly the airplane. I loved it and I want to do more. I currently only have one and a half hours logged, but its a start! I also have know the basics of navigation with sectional charts and the radio. I can in theory fly an airplane. Watch:

Take out a sectional. Find the start airport and the end airport. I'm gonna pretend that we are in a Cessna 172R going from Nashua NH to Fitchburg MA. Draw a line from Nashua to Fitchburg. Measure the distance and find the time (assuming 140 kts) with an E-6b. Next study the geography that that line follows to find clues to search for while in flight. Then extend that line to the nearest longitude. Find the angle between the flight line and the longitude. Find the nearest isogonic line. If that number is west, add the degrees to your heading, if it is east, subtract. Now you can preflight the airplane. Make sure that everything is sound and operable. Get in the airplane, turn it on. Set the radio nav, the barometric pressure and everything else. Set the GPS as well. You want to travel with the GPS, the Heading Situation Indicator and by geography. Get the ATIS weather information and note the phonetic letter it uses. Now call the tower.

"Nashua Tower, Cessna 676 Delta-Whiskey (DW)"
Tower acknowledges.
"676 Delta Whiskey ready to taxi to runway 1-4" Always take off from the run way that goes into the wind.
Tower gives clearance. Use the rudder pedals to move to the runway and call again.
"Nashua Tower, Cessna 676 Delta-Whiskey"
Tower acknowledges.
"676 Delta-Whiskey ready for departure on runway 1-4 southbound for Fitchburg with information Quebec (Q)" The ATIS will give a phonetic letter when it starts, indicating how recent the information is. The most recent is Alpha (A) and the least recent is Zulu (Z).
Tower responds, "676 Delta-Whiskey, you are cleared for take off on runway 1-4, have a good flight."
You respond "676 Delta-Whiskey cleared for take-off runway 1-4."

Aim down the runway. Pull back the throttle. When the airspeed hits sixty knots, pull back on the yoke. Using the GPS and the HSI, keep your bearing towards Fitchburg. When the runway comes into view call for clearance. I believe that it is uncontrolled and therefore:

"Fitchburg traffic, 676 Delta-Whiskey landing on runway 2-9" Or what ever the runway number is. Land against the wind. Began your descent slowly. I was taught to go at 80 kts, 1700 rpms, and 10 degree flaps. Descend, but keep the nose up so the plane goes down slowly. Aim for just beyond the threshold markings. Don't slam too hard on the brakes and clear the runway. Tell Fitchburg traffic that you are clear and find a parking spot.

So that's a basic cross-country flight to the best of my abilities. I left stuff out that I don't know, such as setting the radio and finding proper frequencies, but I know the basic ideas. I personally think that flight is the best thing since sliced bread.



This is the first airplane I got to fly. It was an O-Flight for CAP with Lt. Baker.




After that flight I knew what I wanted my career to be. F/A-22 Raptor Pilot.



This is the greatest bird in the world. Don't cross it.

In other news, Discovery came home safetly, which is good. NASA will continue. But they better fix the foam this time.

And I have turned 18. I can buy porn and vote. Yay!

We're only docters, the best we could do is storm the enemy and remove their tonsils. -Hawkeye Peirce, M*A*S*H

J Kuhl Signing Off

I Am Not A Warmonger

Let me pose to you a question: Michael Jackson, black man or white man?

There is one thing that severely pisses me off. Stereotyping. Simply because I'm from the US of A, I'm an arrogant, warmongering jerk with the strength of superman and the IQ of a rock, according to some Europeans and most of the Middle East - whom also call me "infidel." This is just stupidity. Most Americans see their European counterparts as equals. Most Americans want world peace. Is it our fault our government decided to invade Iraq? No. So please, stop stereotyping us.

I also agree that not all Muslims are suicide bombers. Most have a great message. Most want peace. After reading about Malcom X's journey into Mecca, you'd realise that most Muslims are very generous people, charity is one of the 5 pillars after all. He described them as "brotherly".

Stereotyping leads to ignorance and hate. Stereotyping oppressed the black man in America. Stereotyping lead to the terror attacks in New York, Madrid and London. The world would be a much better place if we did not stereotype.

In other news, I need to clear out the dishwasher.

J Kuhl Signing Off

So, About the Pope . . .

I figure that I've put it off for too long. I gotta post about the Pope.



This Pope Benedict XVL guy's a strange old man. The Hitler Youth Pope. Well, its apparent were going to need an intervention. Its obvious the man's an alcoholic, drinking beer during mass. Look how shrivelled up he is! Do we want him to die a drunken alcoholic? Neither do I. So come on folks! Lets take him away to AA and get him on the 12 Step plan before its too late! Time is precious here! He's a drunken geezer and we gotta help him!

Ah, he's gonna be a good pope anyways . . .


In other news, President Bush is a moron. "On September 4th 2001," he said, "I was in the ruins of the World Trade Centers. It was a moment I'll never forget." So, answer me again, why did we vote for him again? I told you, vote for Jesus! But no. Lets vote for a guy who stood in the wreckage of the World Trade Centers before they were destroyed. Lets vote for a guy who recklessly goes to war through lies and deciet. Lets vote for a guy who's dragging our nation down a creek without a paddle. Lets vote for the monkey!

America, give it a name, call it a miracle. -Smashmouth

J Kuhl Signing Off

363 More Days

May 26th 2006 is the day, the end of it all, the day of Pomp and Circumstance, the black hat and gown, the diploma. Graduation. And it is now less than 1 year away.

This year ended much like it began. Nothing really happened, except perhaps the plays, which all went very well. As I said to Mike at lunch Thursday, "this is the year in which absolutely nothing happened." And indeed, nothing did happen. It was a long and tedious year. But the exams are coming. I start on tuesday with that jackass Piper and I end the exams with Ducey.

Next year will be much better. Pipes will be gone. Chemistry will be over. And perhaps as seniors we may even get some respect. Next year is the final year.

And after that, who knows?

Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? - Monty Python and the Holy Grail

J Kuhl Signing Off

Ah Now Back to My Life . . .

At last, its over. The play, the AP exam, the SATs . . . Its all over. Although I must admit, the play was, to say the least, fun. Friday, the day of the AP exam, was probably the best show. Everything went well and spirits were generally high. Saturday was not as good. The cow fell over several times, lines were lost and the dances were off, but we got the most laughs and the biggest crowd on Saturday. The play officially ended at the Ground Round but there was a character switch this evening. I was suddenly Cinderella's mother, and since Cara wasn't there, I stole Rapunzel's prince and the Wolf as well. I got to belt out Agony in a way the originals could not! It was rather interesting. Tommorrow the cast is doing a show for a bunch of nuns and then its out of the freaking Woods. The adventure was fun, but I just want to go home now.

The year is ending. I'll graduate in about 365 days. Now that is a frightening thought. With the end of the Prom, the AP, the SATs and the play, the year is ushered into a quickly moving pace. One year left. I'm either glad or scared.

Dwarves are very upsetting.

J Kuhl Signing Off

Bring Me My Brown Pants

Napoleon Bonaparte, on the morning of the Battle of Waterloo, was getting dressed and ready for battle. He called to one of his attendents:
"Bring me my red shirt!"
His attendent asked "Why sir? Won't vous stick out too much?"
To which Bonaparte replied "In ze battle I may get struck. I do not want ze men to see me bleed. Zey may panic."
The attendent brought him his read shirt. Napoleon got dressed. Soon he was ready for battle.

He rode off to face his opponent. He came over a hill and saw the English spread before him, over 15,000 troops. Napoleon turned to his opponent and said

"Bring me my brown pants!"


I had an interesting week last week. I needed those brown pants a few times I think. At any rate, it all began last Monday at rehearsal. Benny offered to set me up with a date for the Prom. Of course, I said yes. When I got home, I got IM and a message from Benny telling me that she said yes. Prom was the following Saturday. I had one week. First I had to ask my parents for nearly $100 for the tickets and the tux, then I had to get the dumb suit. I waited in line about ten times for ten hours each at Strictly Formal to get the suit, try on the suit, and replace the 100" waist pants. I'm not that fat. By Thursday, I was already. I had the tux, the tickets and the corsage. I came home late that night, got on IM and I got a message:

my date had to cancel.

I was a little upset, just a bit. It was too late for me to ask anyone else out. I wasn't being shafted, I know that, but it was upsetting. But after spending $100. . .

So I went anyways. I spent most of the night hanging out with Mike, Chuck and Benny. Wade also showed up. He was the former president of my class and he left in October. Danielle took him. We joked and danced. Of course, not having a date doesn't mean that I didn't get to dance with the opposite sex, it just meant that I didn't get to do so very much. A few times. First, I found myself dancing awkwardly with a girl named Megan during some slow song. Then another slow song. Shannon came out of nowhere danced with me for about three beats, laughed and then disappeared. I was startled. But it counts! It counts. There were others, of course. I had fun that night.

Needless to say, it would have still been better if my date hadn't canceled. But no hard feelings.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

J Kuhl Signing Off

Happy Easter!

The snow is still covering the ground, the trees are still bare, but never mind that, it's Easter! It's time for colored eggs and chocolate! It's time for feasts, friends and food! I like food, chocolate in particular. I saw last weekend a large Easter Bunny about 2 feet tall and made entirely out of chocolate. I'd have shoplifted it if my pockets were a bit larger. All this talk of chocolate is making me feel hungry. I'll be back in a few minutes . . .

In other news:















The Odd Couple webpage has finally come out. You can get to the site here:
St. Dom's Drama. By the way, I'm the guy with the reddish hair. Click on Into the Woods too. The site is currently under construction, by the brown-shirted guy in the above picture, so come back later!

Oh, If you look at the cast list for Into the Woods, you'll see Mike's name on the top of the list. Just anotehr boost to his enormous ego. Oh well.

I'm number 16.

Well, Happy Easter!

J Kuhl Signing Off

Code Black and White

It's apparent that Mr. Welsh doesn't trust his own student body, seeing as how he has the doors locked after 3:30. This causes big problems with the Drama society, not to mention pizza-delivery guys.

This was the case Wedsnesday. I had a rehearsal to go to at 6:00. I can't go home before 8:00 so I went to the mall to get some food. When I came back, I had to be let in. I didn't want to press the doorbell, otherwise an alarm goes off inside the school: "CODE BLACK AND WHITE! CODE BLACK AND WHITE!" to which Mike always shouts "Hit the Deck!" or "Scramble the Fighters!" Anyways, Mike had ordered a small cheese pizza to be delivered from Papa Gino's, less than a half a mile away. When Mike told Ben and I this, we began to crack up. There is just something wrong with ordering a small pizza. Mike began to complain how he felt like a fool. He asked some other kids whether this was weird or not, to which he received a few yeses.

As he waited for the pizza, he wanted to know if it was true that the girl's room had a couch in it, so he, Benny and I set off on this rediculus mission. Apparently, it's just a rumour. Ben joked that the girls should have one because girls always go in in groups to socialize.

We came back to the Commons and soon the pizza man showed up. Mike went out to greet him before the guy rang the doorbell. Mike went, met him, took the pizza, payed $5 for the pizza, 1$ for delivery and $6 for a tip. He payed a 110% tip!

Then a black truck pulled up. "It's Kyle!" Mike shouted. "Hide!" Ben and I followed him into the make-up room. There we laughed and joked until the rehearsal, which went well.

In other news, Thursday, there was another rehearsal for Into the Woods. Everything was going rather well until Vincent decided to make me dance in the song Ever After. He had the cast members divide up into their respective couples, e.g., Rapunzel and Cinderella with their princes and so on. First he gave us a small step dance to do. The girls had the harder parts, of course I've come to believe that most females are natural dancers anyways. Then, later on, we split up into two lines, guys across from their girls. We danced to each other and then circled around the stage and then got into the line. Our next job was to weave under and then over the line of couples. We did this about three times until we ran out of time, and my back still hurts.

Leaving the stage, Wednesday was my day in Religion. Everyone had to say something nice about me. It was rather frightening! Apparently I'm accepting . . .

I think Vincent is trying to kill me.

J Kuhl Signing Off

Girl Scouts

I like girl scout cookies but in times like this, people need to learn that the world is a cynical place, and me being a cynic, I think the girl scouts should sell something else.

Like radioactive proof gas masks. I can imagine what would happen if the girl scout came to my door way.

"Would you like to buy a gas mask?" she'd ask.
"No thanks."
"Only ten bucks"
"I said no."
"North Korea has the bomb"
"So?"
"So George Bush is our president."
"Alright, lemme get my wallet, I'll need a few extra masks . . ."

I swear, if that man does something stupid, like invade Korea, I'll gladly become Canadian.

Or I'll be an illegal immigrant sneaking into Mexico. Wouldn't that be ironic? I live less than two miles from Mexico, it's across the river. China, Paris, Norway and Poland are within 50 miles of my house and Berlin is just an hour and a half away. Maine is indeed a funny place.

Of course, Mexico has the Wal-Mart.

In other news, Black Mountain tripled its size last summer and last weekend all the trails were open. The skiing was excellent. The best trails are the challenging ungroomed trails. Wooden sticks . . .

I am God's Boss.

He just doesn't listen to me.

J Kuhl Signing Off

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

Mr. Welsh is a great guy. He is a little old fashioned, but I like him. He cancelled school today. Rumford got about a foot of clear crisp ski-worthy snow and so school was cancelled for today, and tommorrow, more snow is in the horizon. Hopefully tommorrow will be cancelled too. That would be nice.

During yesterday's rehearsal the cast watched the movie Into the Woods. If we do this right, this will be funny. If not . . . at least disasters are interesting.

Well, there isn't much else happening to talk about so adios

I'm on it like Michael Jackson with a nine year old.

J Kuhl Signing Off

And They All Lived Happily After

Guys and Dolls ran into an interesting twist in the last few weeks. Several interesting little twists. I've been so busy lately because of these twists that I'm behind, so we have to travel back to last Thursday.

There weren't enough cast members to begin with. Several roles, like the Crapshooters and Arvide, were TBA and unknown. To make things worse, people left the show for one reason or another. At that time, it was up in the air what would happen to the spring musical, whether it would be cancelled, changed, or whatever. I had to wait until Monday to find out.

Monday, the cast, as it was, met for the first time. It was a rehearsal turned into an emergancy meeting. Josie, our director, said that the show was changing to Into the Woods, a fairy tale-ish musical starring Jack from the beanstalk story, Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, and a baker. Fairy tales. It sounds really corny, cheesey, maybe even gay, but actually, it might actually funny. And hell, whats wrong with a children's story anyways? Ah well. Josie gave everyone in the cast new roles and we went on with the rehearsal. I got the part of a Steward.

It turns out Lt. Brannigan died before he was even born.

Everything was calm. And then, it was Tuesday. I was in History, it was last period, and Welsh came on the intercom and announced "Due to the cancellation of Guys and Dolls, auditions will be held Wednesday and Thursday for Into the Woods." I was perplexed. The roles were given out and we didn't need auditions, what the hell was going on?

Josie was furious. She explained what was going on, somehow Thibideaux thought that would be the only way to make it fair, it was some sort of political thing. But we ran through the rehearsal anyways. I met the choreographer, a guy named Vincent. He's kind of funny.

Auditions on Wednesday showed that auditions were not needed, everyone who showed up that night, showed up for Guys and Dolls, and on Tuesday, technically, they already audited. I guess the auditions weren't really a bad thing, but they set us back a few days and just added chaos into a chaotic life. Auditions were fun though. First, the singers went one at a time to sing. Then the girls practised their screams, there is a lot of screaming in Into the Woods. The boys had to howl like a wolf, someone's gotta eat Lil' Red. Then we danced. They danced. I tried to follow Vincent's feet, but I got nothing, so it's official. The steward I play doesn't dance. We did lines from another play, and then we could finally go home. Thursday was basically the same, only there were only five people.

The cast list was put out today. Kyle got the Wolf and one of the Princes. Mike got the Narrator, and I got the Steward. And now everything is back to normal. There is a show, everyone has their definate roles, and all is calm now. If anything comes up to disrupt this, I will quit, and so will everyone else, especially poor Josie who got caught in the middle of everything.

But that's not gonna happen. The show is on the road now. Into the Woods. I'm just glad the fuss and the politics are over.

There is a song that goes very well with the play, the way it is now. "Here We Go Again."

Well, that's all folks.

"I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by"
- Godsmack

J Kuhl Signing Off

At Least, Disasters are Interesting

No matter what happens with this play, there is no doubt in my mind that it's gonna be interesting. One kid got a major role and he can't even sing and I am suppose to look tough! As if short people can look tough. I may be able to do thirty pushups nonstop, but I don't look it. The cast is an eclectic group, and I've heard rumors about the choreographer, something akin to, ah, lets just say he might get married in Vermont. This will get very interesting very quickly. It can either go up, or down, more easily down. Is it July yet? Because in July, it's my birthday. In July, it's summer, and most importantly, in July the play is done.

Actually, I'm not too upset over my role in the play, this time he isn't the nerdy type who whines about everything, he's a cop. Best of all, he doesn't sing a word. I don't mind other people singing, besides MJ and Spears and Enya, I just don't like to do it myself. Ever hear someone scratch their nails on a blackboard? I'm worse. The one time I ever sang in public, the song was Piña Colada and I had a bag over my head, was at my school's Gong show. I was dragged off by two mental doctors.

Getting back to the point, when Thibideaux told me to check the cast list, a part of me wanted the role. Most of me, however, accepted it as fate.

God had predestined my life - I was to be Lt. Brannigan, and no earthly force could stop it, not even time itself. The lieutenant is my destiny. Some destiny.

Monday is the first rehearsal. From then on, I just have to remember:

In other news, I decided that MASH is my favorite TV show.

Alan Alda is hilarious, the show's hilarious and the movies almost as good, but I prefer Alan Alda to Donald Sutherland. Alda is a Mainer, so thats another reason to like him. I also like Three is Company with the late John Ritter. These old shows are so much better than the ones on now. I also like some of the older movies made by Mel Brooks, such as Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstien. Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder have a lot of talent.

"Where's Froggie?" -Hedley Lamarr Blazing Saddles

J Kuhl Signing Off

Je ne peux pas penser

That's French for "I cannot think." I should be typing an essay for tomorrow right now, and I have it half finished, but my brain feels fried. I checked my calendar, and sure enough, it's Tuesday again. I had one of those half days that come along every once in a while. Half days are longer than the normal days. At least, they feel this way. And today was even longer because it was a Tuesday, but I'm not going to start another tirade against Tuesdays, the day designed to add depression to an otherwise happy week.

I guess that I was just bored.

I suppose when a person gets up at 5:00 AM every morning, it would make sense that he's sleepy for the rest of the day. Mountain Valley, my old High School option, was not a good idea however, even though it's a mere five minutes away.

I remember back in the day when I said to my mother "I don't want to go to St. Dom's. I don't want to wear a tie every day, or get up at five every morning, or ride in the car for an hour there and back every day. I don't want to do it." I was set on Mountain Valley then. Look where I am now . . .

How ironic.

My problem with Mountain Valley is that it is full of idiots. I don't hate everyone there, actually, I don't hate most of them, just a small few. But it was enough to make me just look at them and then just leave. It was the better option. It was the only option.

So because of all this, I find myself bored, wearing my tie, at St. Dominic Regional High School rather than a prisoner in locker 283 in Mountain Valley High School. I guess I made a good choice; not one person really hates me, and I don't hate anyone, even that annoying kid. He's not bugging me much anymore.

It's hard to do that from the inside of a locker . . .

J Kuhl Signing Off

Lt. Brannigan

"Get rid of that Jar Jar figure before I kill you!" the first voice shouted
"But Jar Jar's my favorite character!" a second whined.
"Peter, I don't give a damn, it makes me sick" the first snarled.
"Oh Come on guy's, I gotta leave by twelve so lets play some poker" a third said.
"Vinnie, stay out of this!" the first voice shouted.
"Vinnie, please, let me keep my Jar Jar with me!" Peter whimpered.
"Lt. Brannigan, please, just ignore Peter!" Vinnie cried out "I just wanna play poker before I have to go home!"
"No friggin 'girly starwars dolls'" Brannigan shouted. "This is a man's poker table!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP ALL OF YOU!!!" I shouted. It didn't work. Peter continued to complain about his Jar Jar, Vinnie started complaining about how the wife was going to continue and Brannegan, just shouted about like a grump. These voices continued in my head all day long. You can't imagine the headache I have recieved! These characters are getting out of hand. Peter, Vinnie and Lt. Brannigan are all characters from play that I have either done, or will do.

My psychologist says I have a bad case of dramaitis. Mr. Thibideaux said Friday in an ominous voice "Check the cast list for your name Monday." I looked. There it was today, right above Kyle's. It's like Hello Dolly all over again. It's a massive play, some thirty people, eight from my class. Ben and PJ are doing stage crew again and Nick will probably do lights again. Poor Mike has to wait until Wednesday to see if he got the part he wanted. "Big Jule," that's what he got. I got Lt. Brannigan. Thibideaux said that it was a non-singing role. Damn, I hope so.

In other news, History class sucks!

I went skiing yesturday. My mountain, Black Mountain, just got a brand new chairlift that goes about 700 feet higher than the rickity-backbreaking-never-working-peice-of-[censored]-[censored]-[censored]
-T-bar. It was about three thousand below with windchill, so basically, I froze on the chairlift. But the skiing going down was awesome. Got some air on some nice hills. I had to go in about every two runs though.

I think Spruce mountain still uses a tote-rope. For crying out loud! In this age of spaceships and nuclear reactors, do we really need something as painfull and difficult as a tote rope? Gimmie a break. Of course, that mountain isn't much higher than an average two-story house. Those jay-walking citizens of Jay. Pathetic. I laugh at them: Ha Ha.

Surprise! You're doing the French Mistake!

J Kuhl Signing Off

I Don't Believe Him!

He did it again. Just like Hello Dolly, he did it again. My school is putting on the musical Guys and Dolls. I'm not the musical type, I don't like to sing, so I was going to work backstage, like I did for Hello Dolly. I walked into Mr. Thibideaux's room, he's the Drama guy, and I asked him when crew would be needed. He asked me why I didn't show up at auditions yesturday. I told him that I don't like to sing. He said that there was a role without singing. Then he said, very ominously, check the cast list on monday.

He roped me in again, hook, line and sinker.

Just another adventure.

After falling into Mr. T's trap, it was time for my school to go to Mass. I go to one of those weird schools that celebrate the Eucharist every Friday. I don't mind though. I'm not very religious but Mass makes my classes shorter, so it makes me happy. There is this very annoying kid that I don't like, and I realized he wasn't there. That made me happy. During the Mass, I noticed my History teacher, the Deuce, leaving. This made me even happier. About ten minutes passed. Father Labree was rambling about something in his homily, I can never pay attention during Mass, and I glanced to the right. And that was when my spirits plummetted The Duece returned, followed by that annoying kid. This made me less happy. I had it all, then they returned.

Later this evening I went to the fitness center. I was in the room, benching my humble five pounds when this eldish guy comes in. He gets on a back-extension machine. It has twenty bars on it, the twentieth is 330 pounds. He set the machine to the twentieth and then takes three half-weights from some other machines and stacks them on top. I looked at him in silent amazement and mouthed silently, "He's not gonna. . . " He did. Effortlessly. I was thinking "Did he just . . . ?" I was amazed. I strained my self on my five pounds.

Hey I attempted the 330 pounds.

That's why I'm typing this in the hospital.

Just Kidding.

Oh, don't type papers while you're stoned. This is the funniest essay I've ever read! But I can't believe he got a D-!
"This font is smaller than the last"

J Kuhl, Signing Off

TGIF is a Screwed Up Phrase

Until Friday, TGIF means Toes Go In First, it's a sign on my shoes. I can't believe it. It's less than three weeks since Christmas Vacation ended and I already need a vacation . . . I'm thinking California. Truly, I think that some 2000 miles in between Maine and me would be very good for me. Maybe I should even leave the States for awhile. I'd like to see the Mayan, Egyption or the Greek ruins someday, or perhaps skiing in Scandinavia or eating, czech that, gorging chocolate in Switzerland (no pun intended). A forty-five minute a day commute eats your very soul and gnaws at you day after day, although I'm not sure if that's the whole thing. Perhaps history has something to do with it.

History with the Deuce. The Deuce, that's what she's called. Rather like, El Duce, aka Mussolini. Nothing against her, she's a good teacher but I get behind so easily in that class. That irritates me. I wrote an essay on America's policy on the Native Americans. I liked it and I got it back. "0/9 points. Wrong topic." Schieße! How the hell did this happen? And then there was last Thursday when I was hit with two tests, in one day, in one class, in one period, that I knew nothing about! How do these disasters happen? Scheiße! Scheiße! Scheiße!

On a side note, I DO pay attention.

Yo Mamma jokes do not work in the deep south, especially with hillbillies.

Billybob: "Yo Mama so ugly, she gots herself a mustache!"
Jimney: "That ain't no mustache, them just nose hairs!"

If you are curious about the photo in my profile, that's me playing Ben in chess. I know that because he's the only person I played last year. I lost too. I haven't won much since. I only play because I'm bored though.

I'm all out of alphabet so, as Mr. Busher would say:

"Have a day"

J Kuhl, Signing Off

Hallo, My Name is . . .

. . . Iago Roderigo Desdemona Montano Antonio Bandaras the Third esq. You killed my father, prepare to die! In English, I had a quiz today. Somehow, on my test, it was about Othello, the name Iago and Roderigo ran together and my teacher read it that way, to the class, and IRDMAB III esq was born. Imagine having a name like that. "Would you, Iago Roderigo Desdemona Montano Antonio Bandaras the III esq. take Jill to be your lawfully wedded wife?" I think I'd just call him Iggy.

William Hung has met his match Numanuma. Hung's overrated. I don't know exactly what this is, but it's funny. I don't get Hung anyways. Why are we so Hung over him? (Geddit?) He sucks at singing and he's only funny the first time. Apparently, he's taking vocal lessons and wants to put out a new album. When will someone come out and tell him, he can't sing? Well, we'll just make fun of him some more. She Bangs! She Bangs!

One more thing, Five out of four people can't deal with fractions.

Iago Roderigo Desdemona Montano Antonio Bandaras the Third esq,

also known as

J Kuhl, Signing Off.