Priest Drowns Trying to Walk On Water
Darwinian evolution right here.
I can say no more.
J Kuhl Signing Off
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
More About the Pope
A long time ago, I wrote about the new Pope, Pope Benedict XVI. And I had a photoshopped picture of him blessing a gallon of beer, and I joked that he was an alcoholic and we needed to intervene. Well, I was only kidding. Besides the fact that he looks like Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars and besides the fact that he was in the Hitler Youth, he' still an alright Pope for the most part. Somewhat conservative, somewhat homophobic, but he's doing alright. And he did desert the Nazi's in WW2 rather than fight for them, which makes him pretty cool. Even deserting an army of evil is, in its own way, courageous. I mean, where would he be had the Nazi's won?
But anyways, I bring this up because the issue of alcohol has filtered down to my own parish. My parents are catholic, thus they have dragged me to mass every sunday of my life. We got a young and energetic priest and he's got a lot on his hands. He runs four churches, one is 30 miles away from the other three, and he has to deal with a crumbling steeple, a stalled elevator project, and all the grouchy, closeminded citizens of this here town of Rumford. He also is helping cluster the parishes into one, and will probably close one or two of the parishes.
This Sunday, he announced that someone wrote to the Bishop, complaining that they'd smelled wine in his breath.
Wine. No crap genius. Priest drink a glass of wine every day, during mass. It is, in fact, their god given job. They live to drink, literally.
Now he has to undergo a four week evaluation.
Our priest is not an alcoholic. He is a fair and flexible father who is running four parishes at the same time. And to throw such a cruel accusation at him because you are afraid he'll close your parish is selfish and petty. And I know those were the accuser's motives because the accusation is much to preposterous to believe. I'm guessing his line of thought was something to the effect of: "I don't like this priest how can I get rid of him . . . hmm, he drinks wine, therefore he'll smell like wine . . . I know! Lets accuse him of alcoholism!" It's too obvious.
When he announced it, our priest brought up a good point, straight out of the Bible to boot! Something to the effect of "If you have a problem with your brother, talk to your brother." Ephesians. If this disgruntled maniac truly had a concern, shouldn't he have brought it to the priest or the parish council first? No, I smell a plot, a plot to denounce and remove Father because someone disagrees with him.
Why are people so cruel? (I was watching Hotel Rwanda the other day, wondering that same question. That movie was the only one to actually touch me!) Such selfishness is not only against what Christianity and the Church stands for, but against the morality of all mankind. Pouting that you can't get your way and then sneaking behind underhandedly to sack an innocent man. I only hope whoever did this realizes what he has done.
I was glad to stand up in support of my parish priest, even with my doubts about God and the Church. I hope him the best of luck and I'll be glad to see him back.
And it's pretty funny. When Father announced this to the parish, everyone stood up and clapped in support. Everyone. This one disgruntled loser must have felt very alone.
And this is part of the reason I don't like Rumford. This town has plenty of people in it, too many of them, who push and shove to get their way, in religion and in politics. No one here has an open mind. No one here is willing to risk a little.
Our Town Hall is in desperate need of repairs in order to be brought to fire safety codes. If we don't fix up the hall, it will probably be closed down. This issue came up in the town meeting a few months ago. In order to do this, the tax cap would have to be raised $600,000, which, in the end, would have resulted in an annual tax hike of about ten dollars. Ten lousy dollars. And the town, unwilling to spend a little bit more, voted it down.
They also become very upset to learn that the town was buying land to sell to businesses because "What if it doesn't sell?" This town is too dense to realize that risks must be taken and to make money, one must spend it first.
Also, besides the close-minded bureaucrats who control the town, there are those who live on welfare. They own a few dirtbikes, snowmobiles and four wheelers. And you can tell, because their crap is strewn about the lawn in front of their mobile home. And they won't get jobs.
Of course I don't entirely blame them. This town has no jobs. You can work in the hospital or the mill or move out. Perhaps spend time at Wal-Mart or Shop and Save, but those aren't careers.
Rumford is a rundown village and I can't wait to leave it.
"Even if things get a bit to heavy, we'll all float on." -Float On by Modest Mouse
J Kuhl Signing Off
But anyways, I bring this up because the issue of alcohol has filtered down to my own parish. My parents are catholic, thus they have dragged me to mass every sunday of my life. We got a young and energetic priest and he's got a lot on his hands. He runs four churches, one is 30 miles away from the other three, and he has to deal with a crumbling steeple, a stalled elevator project, and all the grouchy, closeminded citizens of this here town of Rumford. He also is helping cluster the parishes into one, and will probably close one or two of the parishes.
This Sunday, he announced that someone wrote to the Bishop, complaining that they'd smelled wine in his breath.
Wine. No crap genius. Priest drink a glass of wine every day, during mass. It is, in fact, their god given job. They live to drink, literally.
Now he has to undergo a four week evaluation.
Our priest is not an alcoholic. He is a fair and flexible father who is running four parishes at the same time. And to throw such a cruel accusation at him because you are afraid he'll close your parish is selfish and petty. And I know those were the accuser's motives because the accusation is much to preposterous to believe. I'm guessing his line of thought was something to the effect of: "I don't like this priest how can I get rid of him . . . hmm, he drinks wine, therefore he'll smell like wine . . . I know! Lets accuse him of alcoholism!" It's too obvious.
When he announced it, our priest brought up a good point, straight out of the Bible to boot! Something to the effect of "If you have a problem with your brother, talk to your brother." Ephesians. If this disgruntled maniac truly had a concern, shouldn't he have brought it to the priest or the parish council first? No, I smell a plot, a plot to denounce and remove Father because someone disagrees with him.
Why are people so cruel? (I was watching Hotel Rwanda the other day, wondering that same question. That movie was the only one to actually touch me!) Such selfishness is not only against what Christianity and the Church stands for, but against the morality of all mankind. Pouting that you can't get your way and then sneaking behind underhandedly to sack an innocent man. I only hope whoever did this realizes what he has done.
I was glad to stand up in support of my parish priest, even with my doubts about God and the Church. I hope him the best of luck and I'll be glad to see him back.
And it's pretty funny. When Father announced this to the parish, everyone stood up and clapped in support. Everyone. This one disgruntled loser must have felt very alone.
And this is part of the reason I don't like Rumford. This town has plenty of people in it, too many of them, who push and shove to get their way, in religion and in politics. No one here has an open mind. No one here is willing to risk a little.
Our Town Hall is in desperate need of repairs in order to be brought to fire safety codes. If we don't fix up the hall, it will probably be closed down. This issue came up in the town meeting a few months ago. In order to do this, the tax cap would have to be raised $600,000, which, in the end, would have resulted in an annual tax hike of about ten dollars. Ten lousy dollars. And the town, unwilling to spend a little bit more, voted it down.
They also become very upset to learn that the town was buying land to sell to businesses because "What if it doesn't sell?" This town is too dense to realize that risks must be taken and to make money, one must spend it first.
Also, besides the close-minded bureaucrats who control the town, there are those who live on welfare. They own a few dirtbikes, snowmobiles and four wheelers. And you can tell, because their crap is strewn about the lawn in front of their mobile home. And they won't get jobs.
Of course I don't entirely blame them. This town has no jobs. You can work in the hospital or the mill or move out. Perhaps spend time at Wal-Mart or Shop and Save, but those aren't careers.
Rumford is a rundown village and I can't wait to leave it.
"Even if things get a bit to heavy, we'll all float on." -Float On by Modest Mouse
J Kuhl Signing Off
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Miss Bush
I can remember my last conversation with my jedi pupil when he turned to evil. I caught him on a lava planet called 'Mustafar.' He had changed his name to Darth Bush and sent the Republic into disgrace. When I confronted him with what he had done, Bush replied, "I have brought freedom, justice and security to my new Empire!"
"You're new Empire, George, my oath was to protect the Republic, for democracy!" I shouted.
"If your not with me, then you are my enemy!" Darth Bush responded.
I sighed. "Only a republican deals in absolutes. I shall do what I must." I ignited my lightsaber.
"You shall try!" he arrogantly sneered. And we fought. But I was unable to defeat him, and lucky to escape and go into exile. That was six years ago. Now Darth Bush has taken control of the Republic with an iron fist.
"Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything." Frank Dane
J Kuhl Signing Off
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