Apotheosis

When I go to church, I sort of lean back and daydream a bit. I wonder in my head, how I would rule the world if I were God. One day, I may take up that position, and if I do, this is a microcosm of what I would do:

1. Humans would be made without an execratory system. All waste would be annihilated by a sac of antimatter in our small intestine. No more annoying urges. The only downside would be spontaneous combustion, which would be entertainment for me, and therefore not a downside at all.
   
2. There would be peace on the world. All would be in harmony and justice. Then, getting bored, I'd ruin it; I'd set up George Bush as the Supreme Dictator for Life of the World. Then I'd watch the sparks fly. Talk about quality entertainment.
   
3. Shrimp, being considered to be holy, would be blasphemous to eat. Same goes for asperagus, onions, beets, cabbage, liver, saurkraut, mayonese, coconut, sweet pickles, celery, sushi, crab, oysters, and chocolate (the chocolate is reserved for me and me only)
   
4. Singers would be required to have a liscence, distributed by me, and Britney Spears and all of N'Sync would be denied. Anyone caught singing without a liscence is condemned to Hell.
   
5. Advocates for the politically correct and George Bush would lose their voices for eternity.
   
6. Extremists of all faiths would be allowed to preach throughout the world with protection and freedom, but every word they speak would be greeted with ridicule.
   
7. There would be about 100x more christmas songs, so come December, we don't hear the same dumb song every hour.
   
8. Those born without arms or legs could manipulate stuff with the force and be ubergeniuses.
   
9. The Honda Element and the PT Cruisers would be considered the Carriages of Satan and all models would be destroyed (and any owners who don't willingly give them up)
   
10. Any day that ends with the letter Y is considered the Sabbath and I don't have to work on those days. (everyone else does)
    
11. Last but not least, the golden rule: I do what I want!
    

What a wonderful world it would be. I can't wait to be God!

In other news, does civilization even need a God?

Every civilization, since the Sumerians cultivated Mesopotamia some 4000 years ago, had a god or many gods. The concept of God explained scientific phenomena such as the origin of life. God also imposed a strict moral code that mankind adhered to to avoid the wrath and damnation of God. Yet now, 6000 years later, we no longer need God to explain our physical universe. Since the start of the 20th century, the universe has revealed itself at such a fascinating speed. The scientific community now has a great understanding of the movement of atoms and the origins of the universe. Not all is yet uncovered but enough has been learned that we can know explain our universe without a deity. God doesn't make for a good scientific explaination of our world anyways. "Why does the sun go around the earth?" "Because God says so." That answer tells us the responder is either too lazy to find the truth or cannot reach the truth within his own means.

And do we need God for a moral law? No. Unquestioning devotion to an unpercievable being for the ultimate self-interest (or unwavering faith in God for Heaven) is to be brainwashed. Makes us into moral zombies and hypocrites. With God, I am only nice to you so I can go to heaven. I truly don't give a crap about you, but Hell isn't my prefered cup of tea. And do we truly know why we are being moral? Probably not. Morality doesn't need God; morality stems from the heart of man. A man does something nice for another simply for the do-good buzz feeling. Someone like Mother Theresa is a better moral code as they follow their morals out of their heart than their greed.

Then what do we need God for? What ties everything together? What keeps everything in such a perfect pulse? If there is indeed a god, then he would be the glue that holds all things together. He would be the typical, mushy ideas of hope and love and that stuff. God would be the burst of light in a rainstorm or a sunset sinking beyond forested mountains. God would be the aesthetic values of the world. But the problem is still, is there a god? My mind just blanked.

"People pay more attention to you when they think you're up to something" -Calvin Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson

J Kuhl Signing Off

Statistics = A Lie

People often rely on numbers to form an opinion and all to often they take these numbers to be truth. Yet, they, in the end, are often merely lying to themselves, especially when they use numbers to defend/condemn a risk they face or fear. The following was my responce to K.C. Cole's essay, Calculated Risks. It's a commonplace entry for my english class:

Statistics are a dangerous weapon when placed in the wrong hands. Numbers can be finagled so easily and legally to make any naive or gullible soul believe them. The evidence is altered or cut apart to appease a certain point of view. Assessing risked with statistics is equally dangerous and misleading. People often assess risk and manipulate the data to hear what they want to hear. They go wild over dangerous, obvious risks that they uncover, and ignore subtle and tiresome risks because they fear to change their world to protect themselves from the smaller, more common risks. They would rather be upset over the chemicals companies add to food, than be concerned with the huge amounts of fat they devour while plopped in front of a TV that’s been on for far too long. Why? Because they fear, more than anything in the world, change. So they don’t want to face the potato chips they gobble down or the cigarette smoke they inhale but they’d rather blame their problems on forces beyond their control. When one goes to Alcoholics Anonymous, he states, “hello, I am ____, and I am an alcoholic.” He admits to a weakness. People don’t like to do that. It makes them feel weak. Weakness is evil, it brings shame and pain. People hate pain. They go at great lengths of avoiding it and hiding it, so they manipulate the numbers, magnify unimportant risk assessments and ignore the truly significant factors in their lives. People must wake up, admit they have a problem and then do something about it. Otherwise they will always have the same problem to deal with; it will never be fixed.

In other news, Fred Phelps is sending a gang of monkeys up here to Norway Maine, about 45 miles away from my home, to celebrate the death of Sgt. Corey Dan, the tenth Maine soldier killed in Iraq, he died (IED I think) about a week ago. This action angered me.

But then I read about the life of the Pastor Fred Phelps at Wikipedia.com. Its a sad story actually. The man is violent. He is an advocate of child/wife abuse, citing the Bible as his main evidence for his abuse. He threatens anyone who crosses him with lawsuits, Hell, sometimes even death. He's defamatory, sinister and has a mean streak a mile wide. His hate is unbelieveable.

But I am clearly convinced now, after reading his biography, that Fred is simply a poor, insane, deluded man. Fred was alcoholic, abused drugs (barbituates, amphetamines), throws fits about twice a day, and has a temper worse than my own. If you read the article, you will see, the man is clearly out of his mind.

So we shouldn't be too concerned with him, nor too upset with him. He's a loudmouth to be sure, but a mouth that we should simply ignore. I listened to one of his sermons.Ten minutes of it anyways. The whole thing was him simply loudmouthing about how great his opinions are. Thats all it was. "Gays are fags and those who disagree are fags" was the general idea. Let him rant and rave for as long as he wants.

There is only one thing we should do about this church before we can ignore it completely. Put limits on funeral protests. A freedom cannot infringe on another freedom. The freedom of speech cannot infring on the freedom to grieve. Funerals are solemn ceremonies, not public forums. Keep the protesters away from funerals. Let them protest elsewhere.

But their message can be ignored.

"Boy, you just have too much energy today! Get down and give me twenty!" -Ms. Ducey, Friday's English class.

J Kuhl Signing Off

A Fair Warning

Everyday I get up, its the same thing, as if I've been following the same script, the same stage directions. I get up, go to school, curse my physics teacher, come home, eat dinner, go to sleep and get up and go to school the next day. Over and over again. The key reason why I can't wait to graduate is to break this tiresome cycle.

Life works in cycles but it doesn't mean we humans have to get trapped in one. Rather, we should avoid a tiresome repetitive life and try to live each day differently. Do something new. Unfortunately, it isn't that easy. Jobs, school, these often suck us into an unavoidable cycle. So how do we quit then?

I don't know. My only advice would be don't take those jobs. But those jobs must be taken. I don't plan to take a job that sticks me into a routine.

Trust me, routines are bad for your health. It makes a drudgery of a life. It's exhaustive and boring. Routines are like cigarrettes, they so easily ensnare our lives. Stand up for yourselves! Beware of the routine!

"Oh thats how its going to be! Running away eh? Come back here and take what's comming to you, you yellow bastards! I'll bite your legs off!" -The Black Knight Monty Python

J Kuhl Signing Off

A New Direction

This blog is going in a new direction. As of old, it was partly a dairy. I quit that. This is now my sounding board. I give my thoughts on current events and such here. No more diary stuff.

And speaking of new directions, New Orleans celebrated Mardi Gras this week. Some critics are upset and believe that the money could be better spent on repairing the town. Point, but the moral in that city lately has, of course, been really low. And besides, Mardi Gras helps repair the city in and of itself. It allows people to go out and forget for a few hours, their problems and have fun and party. It relieves them of their worries and it brings them energy. Secondly, Mardi Gras brings in much needed money from tourism and helps stimulate the economy. So I'm glad they celebrated Mardi Gras this year and didn't skip it. I hope for the best for the people of New Orlean.

"How do you make chocolate? You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk, and it becomes a delicious drink." Mayor Ray Nagin

J Kuhl Signing Off