Good Thing We Don't Name Ourselves

The internet can sometimes show some powerful insights to the human psych, mostly in how we behave when we're reduced to nothing but anonymous names on a forum. But one thing that I noticed were the names we give ourselves.

And I wonder if, in 2120, when the whole world is connected to this enormous Internet network construct or whatever, if we will be naming ourselves with screen names. And that is a scary thought.

A brief rundown on names from a random thread on Fark.com gives us names like:

House of Tards
Remove all Republicans
Alien Robot
thisispete
HempHead
Fluorescent Testicle
neongoats
heinekenftw
Spanky_McFarksalot
Fart_Machine

Now just imagine how fast society would crumble if we all had names like this. Imagine the republicans putting up a guy named 'Fart_Machine' and the democrats respond with a guy named 'Remove all Republicans.' A candidate named Flourescent Testicle would probably be worse. Or imagine meeting a really hot blond chick who really likes you and then you learn her name is 'neongoats.'

Hopefully, in 2120, there'd be some standards as to what people name themselves, but it's a damn good thing that people can't do this right now in 2009.

They certainly give very strange names to diseases. -Plato.

J Kuhl Signing Off

Smokeless Movies?

A group wants an R-rating for any movie with smoking on it, claiming that children watching people smoke in the movies will make them want to smoke. CNN

This is absurd and ridiculous. First of all, watching a character smoke on a screen won't cause children to start smoking, and if they do, then there are greater problems than just watching movies. Creating a zero-tolerance policy towards anything is subject to failure and always has been and putting such a policy on movie ratings is asinine. Children will encounter smoking in real life just walking down the street as much, and probably more, than they'd encounter in movies. Sheltering children isn't going to solve, or even help, the problem. This isn't even a bandaid fix.

Why have we as a society gotten to the point where other agencies have to make decisions for us? We are told what we can't show our children, we are told what we can and can't eat, we are told what to do and where to go and how to do it. And the worst part of it all is we allow them to do stuff like this because we are too lazy now to admit to any responsibility. Its illegal to drive without a seatbelt because people are too stupid to buckle up. It is illegal to text while driving because people are too stupid to put their cellphone away. If the US becomes a nanny state, it will be our own damn fault.

Its time to seriously start thinking about nanny laws and nanny groups and perhaps grow up as a society.

J Kuhl Signing Off

This Nation Has A Real Issue with Race

Everywhere I've looked after the announcement that Souter was retiring, there have been comments left and right that the new justice should be such and such a race or ethnicity or some such. I've heard arguments that he should be a WASP. I've heard arguments that he should be gay. I've heard arguments that he should be latino. I've heard arguments that he should be a female. What I hear shocking little of is that he or she should be qualified.

With the impending confirmation of Sonia Sotomayor, I hear a lot of 'oh wonderful, a Latino woman.' To be fair, there is also talk about how she's qualified. But it makes me wonder, do we care too much about race and ethnicity? Personally, I don't think it should matter. I don't care where Sotomayor is from. I don't care if she's Latino or Asian or African or Jamaican, complete with dreadlocks and a love for reggae music. All I care is that she's got the qualifications required. Is she good at interpreting law? Does she understand the consequences of her decisions fully? Will she be fair and unbiased and true to the Constitution? These are the questions that should be asked.

We shouldn't be worrying about her ethnicity or her skin color. These things won't make a difference in the long run.

Heck, I felt this way when Obama was running. I didn't give a care about the fact that he was black. All that concerned me was how I felt he was going to run the office of the President.

I feel that this nation seems to either discriminate minorities or simply try too hard to diversify. Diversification is something that occurs naturally. If we can stop discriminating and stop worrying about who is of what race, diversification will happen on its own. There is no need to force it.

Sonia Sotomayor seems like a good pick, I've only read one article about her, but she seems to be experienced and intelligent. And I really don't care if she's Latino or not.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office. -H. L. Mencken

J Kuhl Signing Off

Why I No Longer Go To Church

Walking into church is like walking into a relic. A mausoleum. Sure, there is often an interesting history, sometimes a progression of priests or peculiar congregations but a mausoleum nonetheless.

Church is old. Ancient. It doesn't cover new ground. It loses much of its meaning when week after week it is the same scripture readings, the same message and for what? So I can be blessed? I don't know. I don't get anything out of church. I don't relate to its message, its gods, or its ceremonies. Certainly, it has a good message at times, in terms of ethics, but this is not unique to church, or even religion. These are moralities that could be taught in school with no mention of God.

In this advent of modern science, mankind finds itself in a unique position where in the first time in history, educated people are able to question the status quo using logic and reasoning. No longer does such a church have any authority. And without this authority, the church cannot stop us from questioning. And then the questions arise, the biggest one being, where is the evidence for all of this? Or are we all just sheep? I eat the communion bread and it tastes like bread. I know I should take all this on faith but why? Why isn't there something, some teaser to let me know that I'm not just going through the motions for nothing?

And here's another one, what makes the Bible right and the Koran wrong? What makes the Koran right and the Rigveda wrong? Why is Allah false and Ahura Mazda true? How do we know who is right? Why should we be following some invisible being when there is no reason to believe one exists? I cannot default to the positive assumption of existence without some means of evidence or some logical conclusion. I can't simply believe in a religion without knowing it exists. Blind faith does not work for me.

This is why I don't go to church.

If God lived on earth, people would break his windows. -Jewish Proverb

J Kuhl Signing Off

Heaven and Alfredo Sauce

I never understood the whole Christian idea of playing a harp for the glory of Jesus when I die and go to heaven. Personally, listening to a harp for the rest of eternity is my idea of hell. I'd rather have a noisy accordion and a crowd of people who hate accordions that I can annoy. I can be my own polka band, with one irritating note after another. My heaven is your hell.

Also, in heaven, we do not sit on white puffy clouds. Oh no. Clouds are boring. Who wants to sit on a puffy cloud all the time? Clouds are wet, cold and windy. Clouds suck. If you want clouds, Lucifer has a decent supply of those where he lives, 666 Hell Ave in HELL. No clouds. In lieu of clouds, we have beer. Lots of beer. Beer fountains, beer rivers, beer volcanos and occasionally, it rains beer.

The local diner in Heaven is never out of chicken lasagna either. You can get all the chicken lasagna you want. For free. And you never get fullunless you want to be full.

As to God himself, god is a black man. He's elderly with grey grizzled hair, wise brown eyes and a sharp white suit. On Earth, God has played several roles, such as Lucious Foxx, Red from Shawshank Redemption and he's also played Morgan Freeman in real life. Oh to listen to the deep and soothing voice of Morgan Freeman for all of eternity, praise be Mr. Freeman!

Hell on the other hand is a large city, like Boston in that there is a starbucks on every corner. And the local diner also has plenty of chicken lasagna. But in hell, the coffee and the lasagna costs money and in Hell, you don't make much money. The only food you can afford is from McDonalds. Greaseburgers for an eternity of service to Lucifer.

Of course, you could save your money, but it takes weeks and weeks of saving and you'd have to starve yourself. Of course you can't die, but starving pains are terrible. If you pull through with the thousands of dollars for a warm cup of coffee or a chicken lasagna, they've run out. Starbucks sits on every corner of Hell City, taunting you, mocking you, holding out that rotten carrot.

Of course, this is only your time off. Work in hell is basic. You get to make coffee. Lots of coffee. And you serve it to Lucifer's demons. But you aren't allowed to drink it. Your lips grow shut, kinda like in the Matrix when the Agents hold Neo in that cell. And your job is long and tiresome. And you want it. You want that rich nutty coffee. But you have no mouth. Oh! That tantalizing smell! How dare it tempt us!

And once your mouth grows back, the coffee is available, if you can afford it.

But you can't.

J Kuhl Signing Off

Fox News Can Stop Pretending

Please Fox, stop pretending to be 'fair and balanced.' You are a conservative news network. Admit it please.

Once again, Fox News is practically endorsing the far right nutjob tea parties.

Fox News now giving publicity to Republican Governors' "Tea Party 2.0"

Fair and Balanced my ass.

J Kuhl Signing Off

In Defense of Atheism Again

This is not a Christian nation.

People of the Christian faith, who believe otherwise, need to take a good hard look at our nation and realize that his nation is not, and never was meant to be a Christian nation.

The Founding Fathers, hundreds of years after the intolerable and intolerant Puritans landed on this continent wanted a nation where people would be free to express their religious beliefs from any point of view. Men like Jefferson were deists, believing in science and in an uninvolved God. They ensured that the Constitution stated that there would be no abridgment to the freedom of religion in this nation whatsoever, no establishment and no prohibition. The government would, and should, remain secular.

The United States is, and always should be, a multi-religious nation. To show any favoritism to one religion (especially Christianity, which is the majority religion) would disenfranchise nonbelievers, making such an act unconstitutional. This violates separation of Church and State and violates the First Amendment. In an indirect way, showing favoritism to a religion prohibits and restricts other religions by giving more privileges to one. This is the reason why the government must be secular at all times.

This means no prayer, no funding for faiths, nothing whatsoever, in a mandatory fashion from the government. We are too diverse to practise any religion as a government, for it is an all or nothing situation.

This includes the followers of atheism and agnosticism, the nonbelievers. Atheism, of course, is a lack of belief in God and agnosticism is the idea that we cannot know that God exists. Atheists deserve the same respect and tolerance that anyone of any religion gets. Religion doesn't automatically make someone better or worse than a non-believer, all it means is that they approach life in a different matter. Religious folks look for a supernatural system of belief, atheists and agnostics approach life in a different manner, usually in regards to science and secular philosophies.

I hate to say it, but most of the ignorant crap that goes on in this nation comes from the religious. Mind you, I was raised by Catholics and went through twelve years of Catholic schools (good schools). The vast majority of Christians are good people who actually listen to what Jesus has to say. But the loud, screaming minority ruins it for everyone. And it is from these vocal idiots that the ignorant crap tends to come from. Religion is but a philosophy, but it can be abused by little people enticed by power.

Crap like Fred Phelps who, I am sure, is declaring that all Mainers, Iowans, Connecticutans, Massechusettesers, and Vermonters are on their way to Hell. The entire religious right is thumping their bibles declaring gay marriage a 'sin' (and I'm sure they eat shellfish). Meanwhile, religious nuts on the Texas and Kansas school boards fight to bring creationism into a science class and weaken/remove evolutionary theories from textbooks. And then you have discrimination (ABC) against atheism simply because one dares to not believe in a god. Not only is it a problem in the US but across the globe where terrorists actively seek out to destroy the world so they can implement Islamic sharia law.

Not only do atheists need to speak up, but the silent majority of all religious folk need to also speak up and over throw the loudmouthed bigots who ruin the good things religion can bring to us. Religion offers hope, morals, decency, compassion and good works, and while it isn't the only source of these things, it is a source and a motivator. But so long as men like Pat Robertson and Ann Coulter spread hatred in the name of religious dogma, religion will be stained. People need to expose these people for who they really are or we need to ditch religion completely. As I am sure most Americans don't want the latter, then we need to gain some common sense and speak up against the abuse of religion for bigoted agendas.

Lets end the anti-science platform, lets end intolerance in the name of religion, lets end the hate, the lies, the superstition and lets leave religion to be a matter of personal faith between an individual and his beliefs, if he has any. Religion can be a great thing. Lets turn it into that.

J Kuhl Signing Off

There's A Storm Coming (Colbert Report)

Colbert is one of the greatest satirical minds of the century.

J Kuhl Signing Off

Hey Mr Taliban - Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide

“Osama Bin Laden Bomb Song”

Words by Craig Williams, “Sweet” Al Miller, Andy Kaye and Doug Marsh

Day-o! Daaa-yo!
Daylight come, and we drop the bomb

Pay — we say pay, we say pay, we say pay, we say pay-o!
Kick your ass, then we gonna come home

George Bush says that revenge come
Daylight come, and we drop the bomb
Load dem bombs til the morning come
Airplane come and we drop the bomb

Come, Mr. Taliban, turn over bin Laden
Colin Powell gonna bomb his home
Come, Mr. Taliban, turn over bin Laden
Payback come, and we drop the bomb

Lift one bomb, two bomb, three bomb, four!
Payback come, and we drop the bomb
Six bombs, seven bombs, hit the floor
Cruise missile knocking at your door

Come, Mr.Taliban, turn over bin Laden
Colin Powell gonna bomb his home
Come, Mr. Taliban, turn over bin Laden
Payback come, and we drop the bomb

Lift one bomb, two bomb, three bomb, four!
Payback come when we drop the bomb
Six bomb, seven bomb, hit the floor
Cruise missile knocking at your door

Pay — we say pay-o
Kick your ass, then we wanna come home

Source

J Kuhl Signing Off

On Race

An African American student was booted out of med school for claiming he was African American. The reason why? Because he had white skin. The student was from Mozambique, but had come to the United States and received his citizenship. It turns out, he is definitively African-American.

It is ignorant to assume that every African in Africa is black. While black skin certainly makes the majority, it isn't the rule. There are many white people who live there and lived there long enough to call themselves African. Two American celebrities with white skin are African-Americans. Dave Matthews and Charlize Theron was born in South Africa. Heck, Charlize Theron's first language is Afrikaans. There is also the Seychelles, a group of islands off of the coast of Africa, north of Madagascar, entirely peopled by French and English colonists. (Making the Seychelles the only European colony where the Europeans didn't oppress the shit out of the original inhabitants, it was uninhabited when they arrived). White people do live in Africa. And the student in question here is one of them.

The term 'African American' is frequently wrong anyway. First of all:

This is Chiwetel Ejiofor who played the Operative in the movie Serenity, an American made film produced by Joss Whedon. What race is he?



The kneejerk answer is 'African American.' However, he's British (Source: Maddox).

Here's another black man. He's the famous singer Bob Marley. What race is he?



Bob Marley is Jamaican. Again, to say African American would be wrong.

And this doesn't only go for black people. What about Asians? Siberian Russians are Asians. So are Indians. And Afghanis. And so on and so forth. And yet, when people say asian, they think of people with Chinese facial structures, black hair, and very pale skin. Asia is bigger than China, and heck, there are differences between Japanese, Chinese, and Korean (and so on) and they have similar facial structure. It is more than a difference in appearance, but also a different culture. Lumping people in one group, under one label, over this vague idea of race does not work. We are too diverse for that.

This whole business with race is getting pretty stupid. Race is entirely a cultural construct. There is no biological difference between any races (besides petty and unimportant traits such as skin color, eye color, etc) and they are all a part of the Homo Sapiens species. Why can't we just treat other people with respect that they deserve from their actions and their personalities and not from the color of their skin or the slant of their eyes or whatever irrelevant trait.

This is why I don't like Affirmative Action. It is a program that sounds good on the outside, giving minorities protection from discrimination and diversifying the workforce. However the problem is inherent when an individual from a minority turns out to not have the necessary skills for the job he's working or applying for. He has the power to file a lawsuit, even if the employer is honestly acting on the employee's lack of skills, because he can cry out "discrimination!" and pressure the employer to keep him on. This keeps a man without skills in a job when an employer could find another (of any race, ethnicity, religion, etc) who's better qualified. It gives extra power to certain minorities. If a minority is truly being discriminated against, of course he should have the right to sue. But if he's being fired for being late ten times in a row, he should not be able to use his race to protect himself. Race should not be a qualifier or a disqualifier for a job or college slot. Whether or not you are a minority, you should get a job or a college slot based entirely on your knowledge, skills and abilities. We should be beyond racism, to the point where all that is important about a human is his actions and his character. Skin color and appearance don't matter.

And forcing a kid to lie on a form because he doesn't conform to stereotypical standards is beyond ignorant, it is stupid.

"Now, I don't see race … People tell me I'm white, and I believe them, because I own a lot of Jimmy Buffett albums." -Stephen Colbert

J Kuhl Signing Off

Rhinoceroses Will Save the GOP.

Dick Cheney stated on Face the Nation that he'd rather have Rush Limbaugh, the corpulant, neocon extremist talk show host, than Colin Powell in the GOP. He did all but label Powell as a RINO, Republican-In-Name-Only. At the same time, FreeRepublic members attacked Governor Crist of Florida when he announced his bid for the U.S. Senate for being a RINO.

But honestly, what the party needs is the moderate GOP elements that they are driving out, not the extremist GOP nutjobs that they are pandering to. When a member of the GOP is moderate, he is labeled "RINO," which is a title of scorn. The current republican party is a party of obstructionism, sabotage, and outright ridiculousness. This is now a party where President Obama is scorned as 'elitist' for asking for spicy mustard at a hamburger joint. This is a party that refuses to give Minnesota its constitutionally guaranteed representative by being unable to claim defeat. This is a party that organized tea parties, protesting taxes for the rich, which none of the protesters had to pay.

The party of fiscally conservative, small government, grassroots conservatism, is dead. It is in the hands of the moderates who are voiceless and rapidly fleeing the GOP for independent parties, or worse, the Democratic Party (I say worse because we are headed for a one party system, which would be unhealthy for this nation.) If the GOP wants to survive, they need to turn around and began pandering to the moderates.

A more moderate GOP, which cares about fiscal conservatism, small government, and personal responsibility has a place in this nation. A GOP that will keep the liberals in check is important. A GOP that will complain about mustard on a burger is not. We need a second party, or ideas will not be challenged and Congress will run too smoothly and no one will be around to criticize what they do. Even if they do, they'll be powerless to stop them. This nation must have at least two parties. A moderate GOP will help ensure that the budget is more conservative, that the government doesn't involve itself too far in private affairs and ensure that we maintain a defense against foreign threats.

The current GOP does none of these things. George W Bush was the biggest spender until Obama, who's spending due to an emergency. Under Bush, a surplus left by Clinton was brought to a deficit. The GOP claimed to be a small government party, but they stick their noses in the lives of gays and tell them they can't get married. They wiretap and watch everyone with suspicion and gave the executive branch powers to hold prisoners. The GOP right now is extremist and does not deliver on its promises at all. This is why the moderates are fleeing.

If instead the party listened to the moderates and shut out the idiots like Limbaugh, then perhaps they would not be in this situation. They'd have a viable platform and the ability to filibuster. But they'd rather see them turn tail and run away. Dick would rather have the corpulent Limbaugh than the intelligent Powell.

In other news, the Republicans in congress are trying to pass a bill to declare this year the Year of the Bible. I have a real problem with this. This is a nation of three hundred million people where roughly 20% are not Christian or Jewish (the Jews being included as they can relate to the Old Testament). That's around sixty million people who are not Christian. The bill is nothing more than a resolution, however it is unfair and unconstitutional. This crosses the line between separation of Church and State. It shows favoritism of one religion over another, which I believe the Founding Fathers wanted us to avoid when they stipulated "Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of a religion or prohibiting the free practice thereof." Sure this does not literally establish an official religion, but it sends the message that the Christian religion is the one preferred in Congress, so in a way it does.

This is a multicultural nation, founded by secular humanists. This is not and never was suppose to be, a Christian nation. This is suppose to be a free nation where any religion is respected and practiced (within reason, obviously if your religion includes ritual sacrifice of young virgin females, there might be a bit of a problem) with no influence or bias from the U.S. government.

If this resolution passes, I will petition congress to declare next year, Year of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It's only fair. To refuse would be discriminatory against my religion.

"Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power." -Bobby Henderson, founder of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

J Kuhl Signing Off

The Piscatiqua River Bridge

Coming home today from Manchester New Hampshire, I was traveling down I-95 North. The traffic was typical, the truckers were obnoxious and the slow folk were in the fast lane, forming moving roadblocks and police were at every bend. It was a long and boring journey, but one that was headed for Maine, which is home.

As I went through Portsmouth, I-95 bent out of sight between the two walls of trees. Gloriously and majestically, the Piscatiqua River Bridge, a triumph of engineering and a construct of green iron and grey concrete, rose into the sky. The Bridge has always been special to me. Going west, it was a symbol of adventure, leaving the borders of my home state. And going east, it was a symbol of comfort, returning home.

But today was different. A rainbow had landed right into the direct center of the Bridge. Topless men were cheering and hooting along the side walks. Nervous, I locked my doors and stepped on the gas. Above me, thunderclouds rumbled.

As I came closer to Kennebunk, the storm clouds burst. Rain began falling in buckets. I pulled into the service station to take a leak. The rainbow was still visible behind me, though the Bridge was some 20 miles behind me. As I shut off the car, I belted myself with a chain and a padlock to protect myself from surprise gay sex.

And then there was this tall, muscular, handsome man in a soaking wet tshirt. I tried to think real hard about a girl I found attractive, but all I could do was imagine his well toned pecs. Please McDreamy, please take off your shirt.

It was official, Maine had gone rainbow and the horrors of The Gay had been unleashed.

"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." -Lynn Lavner

J Kuhl Signing Off

The Laws of Video Games

Video game designers are an interesting bunch. They have a complex job. They must make a playable game that is entertaining, but challenging at the same time. They walk a fine line. Since the invention of the video game (Pong,) game theory has become more and more complex and more solidified to the point where now it is a college degree.

Of course being a gamer, one notices that there are numerous little rules that call programmers should follow or be forced to play their dumb game for the rest of their lives.

1. Cinematics and movies should all be skippable, at least on the second viewing. I like a game with a good story, but damn, when I want to sit around shooting zombies in a game I've played before, I don't need a ten minute video I've seen that I can't skip or fast forward. Any stretch of time where the player is doing nothing and can do nothing should be skippable World of Warcraft had these flight paths where you'd just sit for 5-15 minutes, unable to do anything.

2. Saving should be available at any point in a game. Nothing ruins a game more than achieving something difficult, then dying at the next turn and having to start all over again simply because you can't save.

3. Loading a new level should not automatically start a new level. So I'm playing Warcraft III, the campaign mode, and I beat a level. The game loads the next one. Since this takes a little time (not much, it is a 10 year old game after all), I'm likely to have left the computer to take a leak or grab a drink or something. When I come back, there is a button: Press here to start or something like that. I like this because it allows me to get up and stretch and not start in a firefight or something while I'm on the john.

4. Games need continuous action. A break here and there is fine, but no longer than one or two minutes at a time. It starts to get boring if I'm walking around and not taking out zombies.

5. Have an easy mode. Games require a learning curve. I've had Jedi Knight Dark Forces II for almost a decade now. It's a great stress relief because I can play it with my eyes shut. And it's great because it's easy mode was easy, but challenging, when I first started. However, Warcraft III only has normal and normal is actually difficult for a newbie to defeat in skirmish mode. Games need to address the learning curve and give an easy mode for people just starting out.

6. At the same time, don't make it too easy. I can beat most Age of Empires II civilizations in 30-40 minutes and take maybe one casualty, if I play the Spanish. I've beaten a civilization with my army consisting of 10 conquistadors and 10 paladins. On the hardest setting. It was a 20 minute battle, they only had villagers. Not exactly a difficult fight.

J Kuhl Signing Off