Apotheosis

When I go to church, I sort of lean back and daydream a bit. I wonder in my head, how I would rule the world if I were God. One day, I may take up that position, and if I do, this is a microcosm of what I would do:

1. Humans would be made without an execratory system. All waste would be annihilated by a sac of antimatter in our small intestine. No more annoying urges. The only downside would be spontaneous combustion, which would be entertainment for me, and therefore not a downside at all.
   
2. There would be peace on the world. All would be in harmony and justice. Then, getting bored, I'd ruin it; I'd set up George Bush as the Supreme Dictator for Life of the World. Then I'd watch the sparks fly. Talk about quality entertainment.
   
3. Shrimp, being considered to be holy, would be blasphemous to eat. Same goes for asperagus, onions, beets, cabbage, liver, saurkraut, mayonese, coconut, sweet pickles, celery, sushi, crab, oysters, and chocolate (the chocolate is reserved for me and me only)
   
4. Singers would be required to have a liscence, distributed by me, and Britney Spears and all of N'Sync would be denied. Anyone caught singing without a liscence is condemned to Hell.
   
5. Advocates for the politically correct and George Bush would lose their voices for eternity.
   
6. Extremists of all faiths would be allowed to preach throughout the world with protection and freedom, but every word they speak would be greeted with ridicule.
   
7. There would be about 100x more christmas songs, so come December, we don't hear the same dumb song every hour.
   
8. Those born without arms or legs could manipulate stuff with the force and be ubergeniuses.
   
9. The Honda Element and the PT Cruisers would be considered the Carriages of Satan and all models would be destroyed (and any owners who don't willingly give them up)
   
10. Any day that ends with the letter Y is considered the Sabbath and I don't have to work on those days. (everyone else does)
    
11. Last but not least, the golden rule: I do what I want!
    

What a wonderful world it would be. I can't wait to be God!

In other news, does civilization even need a God?

Every civilization, since the Sumerians cultivated Mesopotamia some 4000 years ago, had a god or many gods. The concept of God explained scientific phenomena such as the origin of life. God also imposed a strict moral code that mankind adhered to to avoid the wrath and damnation of God. Yet now, 6000 years later, we no longer need God to explain our physical universe. Since the start of the 20th century, the universe has revealed itself at such a fascinating speed. The scientific community now has a great understanding of the movement of atoms and the origins of the universe. Not all is yet uncovered but enough has been learned that we can know explain our universe without a deity. God doesn't make for a good scientific explaination of our world anyways. "Why does the sun go around the earth?" "Because God says so." That answer tells us the responder is either too lazy to find the truth or cannot reach the truth within his own means.

And do we need God for a moral law? No. Unquestioning devotion to an unpercievable being for the ultimate self-interest (or unwavering faith in God for Heaven) is to be brainwashed. Makes us into moral zombies and hypocrites. With God, I am only nice to you so I can go to heaven. I truly don't give a crap about you, but Hell isn't my prefered cup of tea. And do we truly know why we are being moral? Probably not. Morality doesn't need God; morality stems from the heart of man. A man does something nice for another simply for the do-good buzz feeling. Someone like Mother Theresa is a better moral code as they follow their morals out of their heart than their greed.

Then what do we need God for? What ties everything together? What keeps everything in such a perfect pulse? If there is indeed a god, then he would be the glue that holds all things together. He would be the typical, mushy ideas of hope and love and that stuff. God would be the burst of light in a rainstorm or a sunset sinking beyond forested mountains. God would be the aesthetic values of the world. But the problem is still, is there a god? My mind just blanked.

"People pay more attention to you when they think you're up to something" -Calvin Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson

J Kuhl Signing Off