Christmas is comming. There are still four months to go, but it is an undeniable fact, Christmas time is coming. Santa Claus has already been a favorite character of mine in the Christmas traditions. Some call him Father Time, some call him Père Noël and some like to call him Jolly Old St. Nicolas. I like 'em all.
Here in Rumford Maine, the temperature has seemed to drop to the 60's already with brisk October weather. I've quit wearing shorts. Santa Claus, and I honestly believe this, paints the leaves different colors in the autumn. They are already changing here.
Santa comes down every year to paint the leaves. He is a CIA spook, as Calvin once pointed out. By painting leaves, he spies on the kids to find out those who are naughty or nice and points out potential homeland security threats to the government. Then he hands out the goods on Christmas morning. I like Santa 'cause I like presents. And go Jesus! If it weren't for him, there'd be no Christmas.
Alright, I'm not crazy, I made that up. But Santa Claus is a great scam to play on little kids. Telling them he's fake is so much fun, unless they cry. Then it's just wrong.
In other news, men have anger issues, I've heard. This summer I went to an ACE camp at Daniel Webster to learn about flying airplanes and such. One of the teachers who taught academics, one Mr. Price, was talking to us about using e-6b computers. He asked us, to see if we understood how it worked to use the e-6b, to find out how many people he'd kill in Halo in six hours at 35 people an hour.
At Halo, Mr. Price changed subjects suddenly, stating that men had real anger issues and therefore they play violent games like Halo. He stated, "Men are jealous of women because men can't give birth. Men have to take out their frustration by building things like bridges or blowing stuff up."
Apparently, I am mad at life because I can't give birth. Interesting. It may even be true. I've always wanted to be in labor for twelve hours.
God I wish I had a uterus.
J Kuhl Signing Off
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