Girl Scouts

I like girl scout cookies but in times like this, people need to learn that the world is a cynical place, and me being a cynic, I think the girl scouts should sell something else.

Like radioactive proof gas masks. I can imagine what would happen if the girl scout came to my door way.

"Would you like to buy a gas mask?" she'd ask.
"No thanks."
"Only ten bucks"
"I said no."
"North Korea has the bomb"
"So?"
"So George Bush is our president."
"Alright, lemme get my wallet, I'll need a few extra masks . . ."

I swear, if that man does something stupid, like invade Korea, I'll gladly become Canadian.

Or I'll be an illegal immigrant sneaking into Mexico. Wouldn't that be ironic? I live less than two miles from Mexico, it's across the river. China, Paris, Norway and Poland are within 50 miles of my house and Berlin is just an hour and a half away. Maine is indeed a funny place.

Of course, Mexico has the Wal-Mart.

In other news, Black Mountain tripled its size last summer and last weekend all the trails were open. The skiing was excellent. The best trails are the challenging ungroomed trails. Wooden sticks . . .

I am God's Boss.

He just doesn't listen to me.

J Kuhl Signing Off

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

Mr. Welsh is a great guy. He is a little old fashioned, but I like him. He cancelled school today. Rumford got about a foot of clear crisp ski-worthy snow and so school was cancelled for today, and tommorrow, more snow is in the horizon. Hopefully tommorrow will be cancelled too. That would be nice.

During yesterday's rehearsal the cast watched the movie Into the Woods. If we do this right, this will be funny. If not . . . at least disasters are interesting.

Well, there isn't much else happening to talk about so adios

I'm on it like Michael Jackson with a nine year old.

J Kuhl Signing Off

And They All Lived Happily After

Guys and Dolls ran into an interesting twist in the last few weeks. Several interesting little twists. I've been so busy lately because of these twists that I'm behind, so we have to travel back to last Thursday.

There weren't enough cast members to begin with. Several roles, like the Crapshooters and Arvide, were TBA and unknown. To make things worse, people left the show for one reason or another. At that time, it was up in the air what would happen to the spring musical, whether it would be cancelled, changed, or whatever. I had to wait until Monday to find out.

Monday, the cast, as it was, met for the first time. It was a rehearsal turned into an emergancy meeting. Josie, our director, said that the show was changing to Into the Woods, a fairy tale-ish musical starring Jack from the beanstalk story, Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, and a baker. Fairy tales. It sounds really corny, cheesey, maybe even gay, but actually, it might actually funny. And hell, whats wrong with a children's story anyways? Ah well. Josie gave everyone in the cast new roles and we went on with the rehearsal. I got the part of a Steward.

It turns out Lt. Brannigan died before he was even born.

Everything was calm. And then, it was Tuesday. I was in History, it was last period, and Welsh came on the intercom and announced "Due to the cancellation of Guys and Dolls, auditions will be held Wednesday and Thursday for Into the Woods." I was perplexed. The roles were given out and we didn't need auditions, what the hell was going on?

Josie was furious. She explained what was going on, somehow Thibideaux thought that would be the only way to make it fair, it was some sort of political thing. But we ran through the rehearsal anyways. I met the choreographer, a guy named Vincent. He's kind of funny.

Auditions on Wednesday showed that auditions were not needed, everyone who showed up that night, showed up for Guys and Dolls, and on Tuesday, technically, they already audited. I guess the auditions weren't really a bad thing, but they set us back a few days and just added chaos into a chaotic life. Auditions were fun though. First, the singers went one at a time to sing. Then the girls practised their screams, there is a lot of screaming in Into the Woods. The boys had to howl like a wolf, someone's gotta eat Lil' Red. Then we danced. They danced. I tried to follow Vincent's feet, but I got nothing, so it's official. The steward I play doesn't dance. We did lines from another play, and then we could finally go home. Thursday was basically the same, only there were only five people.

The cast list was put out today. Kyle got the Wolf and one of the Princes. Mike got the Narrator, and I got the Steward. And now everything is back to normal. There is a show, everyone has their definate roles, and all is calm now. If anything comes up to disrupt this, I will quit, and so will everyone else, especially poor Josie who got caught in the middle of everything.

But that's not gonna happen. The show is on the road now. Into the Woods. I'm just glad the fuss and the politics are over.

There is a song that goes very well with the play, the way it is now. "Here We Go Again."

Well, that's all folks.

"I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by"
- Godsmack

J Kuhl Signing Off

At Least, Disasters are Interesting

No matter what happens with this play, there is no doubt in my mind that it's gonna be interesting. One kid got a major role and he can't even sing and I am suppose to look tough! As if short people can look tough. I may be able to do thirty pushups nonstop, but I don't look it. The cast is an eclectic group, and I've heard rumors about the choreographer, something akin to, ah, lets just say he might get married in Vermont. This will get very interesting very quickly. It can either go up, or down, more easily down. Is it July yet? Because in July, it's my birthday. In July, it's summer, and most importantly, in July the play is done.

Actually, I'm not too upset over my role in the play, this time he isn't the nerdy type who whines about everything, he's a cop. Best of all, he doesn't sing a word. I don't mind other people singing, besides MJ and Spears and Enya, I just don't like to do it myself. Ever hear someone scratch their nails on a blackboard? I'm worse. The one time I ever sang in public, the song was Piña Colada and I had a bag over my head, was at my school's Gong show. I was dragged off by two mental doctors.

Getting back to the point, when Thibideaux told me to check the cast list, a part of me wanted the role. Most of me, however, accepted it as fate.

God had predestined my life - I was to be Lt. Brannigan, and no earthly force could stop it, not even time itself. The lieutenant is my destiny. Some destiny.

Monday is the first rehearsal. From then on, I just have to remember:

In other news, I decided that MASH is my favorite TV show.

Alan Alda is hilarious, the show's hilarious and the movies almost as good, but I prefer Alan Alda to Donald Sutherland. Alda is a Mainer, so thats another reason to like him. I also like Three is Company with the late John Ritter. These old shows are so much better than the ones on now. I also like some of the older movies made by Mel Brooks, such as Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstien. Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder have a lot of talent.

"Where's Froggie?" -Hedley Lamarr Blazing Saddles

J Kuhl Signing Off

Je ne peux pas penser

That's French for "I cannot think." I should be typing an essay for tomorrow right now, and I have it half finished, but my brain feels fried. I checked my calendar, and sure enough, it's Tuesday again. I had one of those half days that come along every once in a while. Half days are longer than the normal days. At least, they feel this way. And today was even longer because it was a Tuesday, but I'm not going to start another tirade against Tuesdays, the day designed to add depression to an otherwise happy week.

I guess that I was just bored.

I suppose when a person gets up at 5:00 AM every morning, it would make sense that he's sleepy for the rest of the day. Mountain Valley, my old High School option, was not a good idea however, even though it's a mere five minutes away.

I remember back in the day when I said to my mother "I don't want to go to St. Dom's. I don't want to wear a tie every day, or get up at five every morning, or ride in the car for an hour there and back every day. I don't want to do it." I was set on Mountain Valley then. Look where I am now . . .

How ironic.

My problem with Mountain Valley is that it is full of idiots. I don't hate everyone there, actually, I don't hate most of them, just a small few. But it was enough to make me just look at them and then just leave. It was the better option. It was the only option.

So because of all this, I find myself bored, wearing my tie, at St. Dominic Regional High School rather than a prisoner in locker 283 in Mountain Valley High School. I guess I made a good choice; not one person really hates me, and I don't hate anyone, even that annoying kid. He's not bugging me much anymore.

It's hard to do that from the inside of a locker . . .

J Kuhl Signing Off

Lt. Brannigan

"Get rid of that Jar Jar figure before I kill you!" the first voice shouted
"But Jar Jar's my favorite character!" a second whined.
"Peter, I don't give a damn, it makes me sick" the first snarled.
"Oh Come on guy's, I gotta leave by twelve so lets play some poker" a third said.
"Vinnie, stay out of this!" the first voice shouted.
"Vinnie, please, let me keep my Jar Jar with me!" Peter whimpered.
"Lt. Brannigan, please, just ignore Peter!" Vinnie cried out "I just wanna play poker before I have to go home!"
"No friggin 'girly starwars dolls'" Brannigan shouted. "This is a man's poker table!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP ALL OF YOU!!!" I shouted. It didn't work. Peter continued to complain about his Jar Jar, Vinnie started complaining about how the wife was going to continue and Brannegan, just shouted about like a grump. These voices continued in my head all day long. You can't imagine the headache I have recieved! These characters are getting out of hand. Peter, Vinnie and Lt. Brannigan are all characters from play that I have either done, or will do.

My psychologist says I have a bad case of dramaitis. Mr. Thibideaux said Friday in an ominous voice "Check the cast list for your name Monday." I looked. There it was today, right above Kyle's. It's like Hello Dolly all over again. It's a massive play, some thirty people, eight from my class. Ben and PJ are doing stage crew again and Nick will probably do lights again. Poor Mike has to wait until Wednesday to see if he got the part he wanted. "Big Jule," that's what he got. I got Lt. Brannigan. Thibideaux said that it was a non-singing role. Damn, I hope so.

In other news, History class sucks!

I went skiing yesturday. My mountain, Black Mountain, just got a brand new chairlift that goes about 700 feet higher than the rickity-backbreaking-never-working-peice-of-[censored]-[censored]-[censored]
-T-bar. It was about three thousand below with windchill, so basically, I froze on the chairlift. But the skiing going down was awesome. Got some air on some nice hills. I had to go in about every two runs though.

I think Spruce mountain still uses a tote-rope. For crying out loud! In this age of spaceships and nuclear reactors, do we really need something as painfull and difficult as a tote rope? Gimmie a break. Of course, that mountain isn't much higher than an average two-story house. Those jay-walking citizens of Jay. Pathetic. I laugh at them: Ha Ha.

Surprise! You're doing the French Mistake!

J Kuhl Signing Off

I Don't Believe Him!

He did it again. Just like Hello Dolly, he did it again. My school is putting on the musical Guys and Dolls. I'm not the musical type, I don't like to sing, so I was going to work backstage, like I did for Hello Dolly. I walked into Mr. Thibideaux's room, he's the Drama guy, and I asked him when crew would be needed. He asked me why I didn't show up at auditions yesturday. I told him that I don't like to sing. He said that there was a role without singing. Then he said, very ominously, check the cast list on monday.

He roped me in again, hook, line and sinker.

Just another adventure.

After falling into Mr. T's trap, it was time for my school to go to Mass. I go to one of those weird schools that celebrate the Eucharist every Friday. I don't mind though. I'm not very religious but Mass makes my classes shorter, so it makes me happy. There is this very annoying kid that I don't like, and I realized he wasn't there. That made me happy. During the Mass, I noticed my History teacher, the Deuce, leaving. This made me even happier. About ten minutes passed. Father Labree was rambling about something in his homily, I can never pay attention during Mass, and I glanced to the right. And that was when my spirits plummetted The Duece returned, followed by that annoying kid. This made me less happy. I had it all, then they returned.

Later this evening I went to the fitness center. I was in the room, benching my humble five pounds when this eldish guy comes in. He gets on a back-extension machine. It has twenty bars on it, the twentieth is 330 pounds. He set the machine to the twentieth and then takes three half-weights from some other machines and stacks them on top. I looked at him in silent amazement and mouthed silently, "He's not gonna. . . " He did. Effortlessly. I was thinking "Did he just . . . ?" I was amazed. I strained my self on my five pounds.

Hey I attempted the 330 pounds.

That's why I'm typing this in the hospital.

Just Kidding.

Oh, don't type papers while you're stoned. This is the funniest essay I've ever read! But I can't believe he got a D-!
"This font is smaller than the last"

J Kuhl, Signing Off

TGIF is a Screwed Up Phrase

Until Friday, TGIF means Toes Go In First, it's a sign on my shoes. I can't believe it. It's less than three weeks since Christmas Vacation ended and I already need a vacation . . . I'm thinking California. Truly, I think that some 2000 miles in between Maine and me would be very good for me. Maybe I should even leave the States for awhile. I'd like to see the Mayan, Egyption or the Greek ruins someday, or perhaps skiing in Scandinavia or eating, czech that, gorging chocolate in Switzerland (no pun intended). A forty-five minute a day commute eats your very soul and gnaws at you day after day, although I'm not sure if that's the whole thing. Perhaps history has something to do with it.

History with the Deuce. The Deuce, that's what she's called. Rather like, El Duce, aka Mussolini. Nothing against her, she's a good teacher but I get behind so easily in that class. That irritates me. I wrote an essay on America's policy on the Native Americans. I liked it and I got it back. "0/9 points. Wrong topic." Schieße! How the hell did this happen? And then there was last Thursday when I was hit with two tests, in one day, in one class, in one period, that I knew nothing about! How do these disasters happen? Scheiße! Scheiße! Scheiße!

On a side note, I DO pay attention.

Yo Mamma jokes do not work in the deep south, especially with hillbillies.

Billybob: "Yo Mama so ugly, she gots herself a mustache!"
Jimney: "That ain't no mustache, them just nose hairs!"

If you are curious about the photo in my profile, that's me playing Ben in chess. I know that because he's the only person I played last year. I lost too. I haven't won much since. I only play because I'm bored though.

I'm all out of alphabet so, as Mr. Busher would say:

"Have a day"

J Kuhl, Signing Off

Hallo, My Name is . . .

. . . Iago Roderigo Desdemona Montano Antonio Bandaras the Third esq. You killed my father, prepare to die! In English, I had a quiz today. Somehow, on my test, it was about Othello, the name Iago and Roderigo ran together and my teacher read it that way, to the class, and IRDMAB III esq was born. Imagine having a name like that. "Would you, Iago Roderigo Desdemona Montano Antonio Bandaras the III esq. take Jill to be your lawfully wedded wife?" I think I'd just call him Iggy.

William Hung has met his match Numanuma. Hung's overrated. I don't know exactly what this is, but it's funny. I don't get Hung anyways. Why are we so Hung over him? (Geddit?) He sucks at singing and he's only funny the first time. Apparently, he's taking vocal lessons and wants to put out a new album. When will someone come out and tell him, he can't sing? Well, we'll just make fun of him some more. She Bangs! She Bangs!

One more thing, Five out of four people can't deal with fractions.

Iago Roderigo Desdemona Montano Antonio Bandaras the Third esq,

also known as

J Kuhl, Signing Off.

Third Time's A Charm . . .

. . . and little children are safe with Michael Jackson. Being in Civil Air Patrol, I get several orientation flights where I get to go up in an airplane and take the controls for awhile. My first flight was cancelled, so was the second . . . but to day was different. I got to go to the airport to day! But the god of the winds seems to hate me. My flight was cancelled again. If anyone ever says "third time's a charm . . . ," to me again, I will tear out their eyeballs and use them as a new cue ball . . .

Yesterday was particularly terrifying. I had a History exam. Because it was AP, it was hard. Believe me, I had more fun earlier this week in Trigonometry or Chemistry. My teacher's an interesting teacher. She tends to say things like "I'm gonna hang you by your tie and shoot you." I wasn't suprised, then, yesterday, to see a skeleton hanging from the cieling . . . I didn't like that kid anyways.

Ah, but schools out at last.

In other news, I have a new website comming out soon. It'll have C-Script tutorials and such. I'm working on a game about a wizard who blows stuff up. It's comming along slow but surely. Disgustingly, I've had to use trig in it once. I hate knowing that math isn't useless. It should be!

Learned about the mole in chemestry - 6.022 x 10e23. That's disgusting too. I have never understood why numbers like that couldn't be something simple like 1 x 10e23. Something easy to understand. There is a conspiracy underfoot folks! One to confuse us and ruin us all.

Speaking of ruin . . . George Bush is president . . .

Speaking of Bush, I found an interesting sight here: Fallujah in Pictures I'm warning you, there is some gore.

J Kuhl Signing Off

Just Say No

My school this year got a new chemistry/biology teacher. He's rather creepy. Always grins. Always. My theory is that he took an anger management course or something and took it too far . . . Mike told me a story about something that happened in one of his classes the other day. Apparently the teacher was talking about how when he was young, he had a beard like Santy Clause, drank like a fish and went to wild parties until three-four in the morning! If you saw him today, you'd never believe it. But anyways, some student then asked him if he took drugs. He answered "That's an inappropriate question."

Tell me, doesn't that say YES to you? If he had not taken drugs, he'd have just said no. It's like telling a police officer that they cannot look in your trunk. Maybe that's why the teacher's always grinning . . .

Tommorrow is Thanksgiving. Let us give thanks to the men who kicked out the Indians and let us steal their lands.

Happy Turkey Day anyways

J Kuhl Signing Off

Fascism in America

One more rant against Bush and I'll stop. I found a website and its called Wake Up and Smell the Fascism. My question for you, America, why the hell did you vote for him? Look at him! He looks like frikken Curious George and that's just the tip of the iceberg!

His war in Iraq has sunk the US in a quagmire, ruined foreign policy in the Middle East and only raised the terror alert! While we deal with Saddam, Al-Zaquari and his followers Osama, the mastermind of 9-11 runs loose plotting more destruction. He's an arrogant peice of crap who doesn't give a damn about the environment and cares only for the rich elite. This war in Iraq reminds me too much like . . . lebensraum . . .

Four more years . . .

Lets hope he doesn't invade Canada too . . .

In Other News, school is boring.

"Ralph Waldo Emerson is an over-inflated windbag" -Mike

J Kuhl Signing Off

Procrastination

I like the word Procrastination. I also like Transubstatiation, because they are so long. Transubstatiation alone has 18 letters. But I like the word procrastination, and hate it too, because I always find myself doing it, and therefore, this blog is nearly a full month late. Oh well. I get busy. School gets in the way, National Peace Essays get in the way, I get in my way . . .

I was very upset November 2nd, when Bush won the election. Come on America, what's wrong with you? I asked, no begged, pleaded, with you. Jesus for President. But no. Lets vote for the rich cry-baby warmonger. Ave Bushius Caesar!

At least the Odd Couple went well, except for the line Kyle missed each show! In the first performance, Oscar hit the plate with my BLT & pickle on it. The pickle flew over the walls of the set! It was like SuperPickle, here to save the day. Sounds like a really bad kids show. The next performance, someone put jelly in my BLT. The one part of the show I was looking forward to . . . gone.

Speaking of gone, I think he is finaly gone. He, the only one at school whom I hate, no, LOATH. First he makes fun of my friends, then me, then he alienates my friends, and that was it. He's gone. Christian Morality . . . gone as well. I only have so much willpower.

Got a good two inch snowfall Sunday morning. I was quite amazed when I woke up and saw the snow. I want to ski . . .

On this Day in History, Nov 22, 2003 - I starred as Peter in the improv dinner theatre, A Deadly Reunion for the last time. Then I pictured Peter in my mind dying in a Stalinesque style

Nov 22, 1963, President Kennedy assassinated in Texas. Someone's created a video game about this. You play as Lee Harvey Oswald. Now that is disgusting. We don't need crap like that. But now its out and it's the creaters law-given right to produce that game. God Bless America.

And with those thoughts:

J Kuhl Signing Off

Happy Halloween!

Halloween, the day where the ghosts and the goblins and the Bob the Builders and the Harry Potters go door to door on a gluttonous spree of candy. I love it. Twix in particular is my favorite, but I digress. Halloween is the most beautiful holiday of the year, everyone comes together at night to turn their mouthes into a dentist's nightmare. American commerciallism at its finest, Halloween is one excellent holiday.

In Other News: I recovered my CD case. It went missing about a week ago. That sent me into a frantic frenzy. I dug up my locker, my bedroom, backpack, car, everywhere. The damn thing's got to be worth $200 dollars in all. I sigh with relief that it's back. My thanks to Josh, the SAVIOR of music. Now . . . where the hell is my car . . . .

Oh yeah, I don't have a car.

A friend of mine has left St. Dom's for good this week. Rather upsetting. Why can't the stupid people leave? There is this one kid whom I'd to . . . heh, lets just say it involves a lot of blood, anyways, he's annoying, cruel and pretty stupid. He thinks I am his friend. I'm not. I hate his guts. Why couldn't he leave?

On This Day In History: October 31, 2003; Last year I went to school. My costume was a dress. I had fun. I got stuck in it though. This year, I was a sergeant in the United States Air Force. Actually, I want to join the Air Force, become a fighter pilot and fly in the brand new F-35. It can hover in midair at zero air speed, land and take off vertically, fly supersonic and has stealth protection. We'll see, we'll see. . .

J Kuhl Signing Off

Wooden Sticks

My religion teacher from last year made this comment, "I couldn't see myself looking down a mountian on a pair of wooden sticks attached to my feet." Ahh, but I could. Skiing. I love it. The cold wind whistling past, the high-speed thrill, the twist and turns over the moguls, and the occasional fall on the double diamonds. Living in Maine, I have become quite an avid skier, and it being October, almost November, I already itch to feel the weight of the the skis on my feet. Skiing. It's in my blood. Soon I'll be nothing but a cloud of snow powder.

Wooden sticks indeed!

J Kuhl Signing Off

Tuesdays: Bringer of Doom

I might be the only person on this messed up planet who happens to like his Mondays. Call me crazy, but they aren't that bad when you think about it, you're still fresh from the preceeding weekend. But seeing as its a Tuesday, all hell is determined to break loose, Tuesdays, those magical days set aside for such wonderous experiances like the last donut being taken from me at break, the one thing, the one thing, the one thing, that I look forward to. Gone. Tuesdays, are like French weapons, they jam up real easily. Tuesdays are days that were designed to add misery to an otherwise happy week. Tuesdays are days that make me feel as if I am flat on my back and hordes of evil midget-monkeys are stampeding over me in high heel shoes. I'm writing this part in study hall, it is only second period, and I'm already bored to tears. I'm thinking of jumping out the window . . . good thing I'm on the first floor, huh?
Ah, well . . .

Everyone; A toast: To Tommorrow! Until then, I shall do the only thing I can possibly think of that might help me today . . . sleep! Ah yes, I can't wait, the sleep of the innocent, well . . . sleep anyways. To next Monday. May it snow ten feet and school be cancelled.

In other news, a man grew a plant in his belly button. It's an interesting article, not to mention slightly nauseating and disturbing. Story here..

Odd Couple going well. I'm having fun in rehearsels and were starting to pull together. November Fifth, day of the production, seems very close right now though. I hope I survive this one.

Shut the door behind you!

J Kuhl, Signing Off.

Drama is a Five Letter Word

Since the beginning of my High School career, the Drama Society has been a large part of it. Funny thing is, I think this is how "they" are trying to kill me. I don't know who "they" are or what they have against me, but there is a conspiricy. My current theory is that my school, St. Dominic in Auburn ME, is haunted by the ghost of Father Druin, the man who founded the place and for some inexplicible reason, he chose me.

So what does this have to do with drama? Drama is where it always happens. Take last year for example. The show was Hello Dolly, a show I wasn't even suppose to be involved with in the first place. What happened was that a friend of mine, my ride home that day, took off without me, leaving me behind. There was a Drama rehearsal that day. I made the mistake of deciding to help out in crew for that day, because after that, I was stuck.

Don't go thinking I'm complaining here, I had fun. It's just that some of the things that happened at that time were rather bizzare. There's one such event I'd like to share to make my point. My friends, Kyle and Ben were moving a sound board from the back of the room to the stage. Because the stage is in the school's cafeteria, there were tables and chairs in the way. I was pushing these out of the way when I heard a loud electronic voice shout "Die you stinkin moron! Die!" Next thing I know, I'm flying in the air about fifty feet, land on my back, skid another fifty and bump into the spotlight, which then began to chase me. Fortunatly, when it pulled its extension cord from the wall, it stopped, to never harrass me again. Obviously something is trying to kill me, and its doing it through the Drama Society. This is what I call the Curse.

But I had fun. Everyone loved my star role where Ben and I walked on stage between scenes, turned a table around and then walked off. Got more applause than the real star of the show.

So this year, being the intelligent man I am, I joined Drama again.

The play I'm in is the Odd Couple. Vinnie. He's a whipped, nerdy type of guy whose only positive aspect is that he always wins poker. So far, the Curse, however, hasn't struck. Actually, I'm having a lot of fun with The Odd Couple, it's my first real role with a script. It's also fun to watch Kyle and Mr. Thibideaux (the director, and my French III teacher) fight with each other.

In other news, the Quarterly Exams are finally over. I can finally breath, and perhaps by next friday, my burning headache will finally disappear and the voices in my head might finally stop. The Sine of 45 is the square root of . . . The French Indian war was the cause of . . . the conjugation of avoir with . . . Maybe someday the madness will stop.

A new move in chess has been formed called La Francais. What you do is you set yourself into checkmate, call for the American army to help, and run when they show up! Heh heh heh!

Hey, French men and women, just teasing!

J Kuhl, Signing Off

Jesus For President!

Seriously, these campaigns are getting rediculus! I just want slap both Flipflop Kerry and Warmonger Bush in the face sometimes! I'm watching my daily TV shows (on the rare occasion that I am home and awake) and a commercial comes and Kerry just slams Bush. Almost before that one ends, Bush strikes back at Kerry. I tell you, these two argue like old women and neither of them have what it takes to be president. One's a greedy little pig and a warmonger, the other a flip-flop abortionist! I propose a new candidate!

Jesus For President!

Think about it. Seriously! First of all, healthcare. Kerry has some big government plan to implement (which either never works or is just a scheme for more money) and Bush doesn't care. Jesus has high social standards, man! Healthcare would be free, unlimited, especially for the sinners and the rich!

He'd also be for the poor. He'd reduce the homeless in the large cities, lend aid to the poor farmers and industrial workers. America would flourish.

Jesus' view of the environment: Unlike Bush, who choses to ignore the planet, the world that was created by God would surely be taken care of by His own son!

Nuclear Arms - He'd get rid of them. They have no defense, they are purely weapons of hate. The world would be a happier place.

War in Iraq and Afghanistan: Being a pacifist and a very wise rabbi he'd have our troops back home, safe and sound before you could say ressurection!

Therefore, on November 2, 2004 I will, and I urge all of you to do this as well (in memory of Him), vote for Jesus of Nazereth for the 44th President of the United States of America. God Bless and Good Night

J Kuhl Signing Off.